Healing

My mom is waiting for word that she may come home yet tonight, so I am waiting to hear if they did release her or not. She had the surgery on Monday as planned, and the doctor told my dad that it went just as he expected.  It lasted about  2 hours.  The recovery took longer though.  When she did come out of recovery, she looked terrible.  It was very hard for me to see her look so bad.  She was in great pain and very out of it from the pain killers, etc.   But the next day she was somewhat better and able to show me her incision.  I was shocked at how big it was!  I had the robotic surgery, (six small incisins sealed with a single piece of tape) and did not realize it would be so big.  It was almost completely down her entire stomach.  She has staples which will have to be removed.  Still great pain of course.   Yesterday I did not get a chance to see her because I had a two hour therpist appointment.  My therapist told me that I had a lot of guilt, which she recognized as my depression coming back, and told me I needed to stop being a people pleaser.  Generally I am not concerned with what other people think, but apparently when under great stress the old habits come back.   I intended to see my mom today, but I woke up hurting so badly from my Fibromyalgia that I couldn't go anywhere.  You can read about Fibromyalgia on my website, My personal website:  "Blossoms of Hope"http://mysite.verizon.net/resvz1wf/blossomsofhope/   but one thing that makes it worse is stress.  We've also had rainy weather which does not help my pain.Finally tonight after much medication I am feeling somewhat better. My mom told me today on the phone that all she wants to do is go home and go to sleep.  She is tired and hurting, and doesn't like the nurses pushing her to walk, and the routine.  I don't blame her!  I do not know if she will go home today or maybe tomorrow. I thank you who prayed for her, and also for my son.  Good news-He called and he is ok for now!  We mothers always worry, but I think that is God's way of getting us to pray for our children.   I do not know if my mom is supposed to have radiation or chemo.  I'm not sure she will tell me if she is.  My dad keeps saying the doctor told him that she won't have to, yet the tissues are being tested and those results are not in yet.  I think the doctor may realize that she is not going to have it done no matter what he says, or else my dad is not understanding everything.  For instance, everytime I say that I wish she could have had the robotic surgery like me, my dad says, "Yea, but this way they got everything out!"  I keep telling him they got everything out with me too, but he doesn't seem or want to believe me.  Parents! Meanwhile I am waiting for the results of a blood test to find out if I carry Lynch Syndrome Cancer.  You can look that up if you want, as some families carry it, and if I have it, it means my siblings and our children will have a 50/50 chance of getting colon, uterine, or ovary cancer, and will have an increased probability of getting other cancers.  Has anyone hear ever heard of it?  I found out from the first blood test that two of my DNA are not working, which they say is in every one of my cells, and with my mother being diagnosed with Uterine Cancer, they immediately did the expensive blood test on my tumor tissue.  Now, if I have it, the other family members can find out if they have it with a simple blood test and it won't be so expensive.  So I'm hoping to help my family and future generations if we can find this out for sure. Some sad news, a distant cousin whom I just started getting in contact with died on the 10th of June of Uterine Cancer.  I know she fought a valiant fight, and I heard it from her mother who had told me some family history.  I was very depressed upon hearing this, but it shows how serious this disease is.  I believe she was only in her 40's, and has children and married.  Sorry for the long update.  Guess I had a lot to say.  I am so grateful for you friends who are patiently waiting for me and praying for me and my mother.Love you all!