Headed into darkness

I will no longer allow myself to get close to people here or in my own personal life.I have been dealt some serious blows during the past week. My heart aches!My dear friend on here that I became extremely close to I fear has taken her life. She has been spiraling from day one. The last  straw I believe was when she tried to reach me on Tuesday and I did not respond. My husband answered my phone. This caused her to become very angry. She accused me of "putting" my husband on the phone when she really needed to talk to me. She said this was the last time I would hear from her. She sent several texts that were very angry and threatening. I have tried to reach her to tell her I was having phone probs. She will not respond. She accused me of not being a good friend. I have done everything I possibly could have done for her. I also offered her a home. I feel I sent her over the edge by not being there when she needed me most. I had gone to bed at my normal time and did not respond to her. This one will haunt me all of my days.My sister called last night to blast me for not keeping in touch with her. She accused me of being ashamed of my family. After she said what she needed to say she hung up. "The fine christian woman that she is!" The fact is my family has never been there when I needed them. NEVER! I invited my mother and my sister to my daughter's college graduation this weekend. My sister has chosen to be with a new boyfriend and my mother chose this weekend to be out of town. My family can only love on their terms.Bob is working hard at job prospecting. He has his first interview today. Sarah graduates Saturday. She is my light and my only reason for being in this world.