Headaches, Marriage, and Abuse...

I was supposed to cut the grass today, but I didn't.  Not because I didn't want to.  I get these headaches every single day.  They started the last time my husband beat the holy-poo outta me last spring.  There's a whole list of other problems that I have since that happened.  Dizziness, forgetfulness, and clumbsy are just some of them.  He apologized the night that it happened, but since then he has denied that it EVER happened.  He says he never kicked me and punched me repeatedly in the head until I was soaked in blood.  He says I was trying to hold the door closed so he couldn't leave, and that when he yanked on the door, it hit me in the head.  BULL!!!  I remember that night as if it had just happened tonight.  UGGG!! He and I have been apart for a year now.  I moved back in just before Christmas, but moved out again barely 12 weeks later.  He had surgery on June 1st to repair a back injury, and I was there for only 4 days when he began calling me useless and whatnot.  He couldn't walk, so I was there cleaning, cooking, running errands, and even helping him pull his boxers and pants up after he went to the bathroom.  But- I'm useless!!  So I left (again) because of that.  He called me and screamed at me that he needed food.  When I reminded him that he told me I was useless, he screamed MORE!  I then told him that I would not do anything for anyone who treated me like shit.  He said that means I'm just trying to blackmail him and force him to be nice to me.  Ummm... WHAT??  I don't see how it's blackmail when I refuse to allow him to abuse me.  It's simple.  You treat someone like shit, they aren't going to want to do ANYTHING for you.  Why should I care if he needs food?  Does he care about me and Jonathan??  NO!!  He wouldn't even call me if he didn't need me!! So today I was over there cleaning Jonathan's room because my father-in-law is coming to visit, and he is going to be sleeping in his room.  I sat down on the couch to relax and take a break.  Rob was on his computer (as always... uggg)  and I started talking to him about Bull Sharks and how interesting I think they are.  After about 2 minutes, he yells, "Oh my God, Melinda!!  I really don't care!!  Shut the hell up!!"  Wow.  So I can't even have a conversation with him about anything at all.  A little while before that, I was telling him about what Obama said about his healthcare plan.  All I was doing was saying what Obama said.  Then he gets all mad at me and says that all I'm doing is arguing with him.  IS HE MENTAL??  I was just explaining the healthcare thing to him.  How is that arguing??   He seriously believes in his head that I am trying to kill him, blackmail him, and all kinds of other things.  He also thinks that everyone he knows is out to get him.   I have no intentions on being with him I do plan to file for divorce.  I just cannot take it anymore, even if he did get help.  I have a life to live and a child to raise.  I can't be bothered with him anymore.  I don't care how cold and selfish that sounds.  After 7 years of physical and emotional abuse, and his kiddie-porn addiction, I'm DONE with him.

Replies

economygrill
economygrill

I\'m with Tammy! xx
deleted_user
deleted_user

You go girl!! Run...run as fast as you can from this craziness. This man has so many issues, you being the cause of NONE of them. I wouldn\'t totally discount the fact that some of your physical symptoms might come as a result of of phsycial trauma, but also remember how much just being in this constant state of being criticized, berated, put down, cussed at, can do to a person. When my husband died I thought I was stupid, I thought I was the clumsiest person in all of Texas, I thought I was completely forgetful, and in due time, I realized I am none of those things...it\'s what they want us to believe. You are a beautiful, young and smart woman and you can do anything you set your mind to and that\'s what KILLS him. Don\'t wait around for it to kill you. Get out and live your live girl. As i type this I sit in my little apartment w/ my two little boys and I can\'t even explain to you what a joy it is to be able to do the things that I want to do, when I want to do them, and how I want to do them, w/out anybody to bitch at me. It is glorious and I wish and pray that you will one day have the same peace for yourself and that precious little boy of yours. Love you,