head and heart

I feel like I am trying to be someone I am not. A lot of people here put themselves down because they are emotional. I think with my heart. Isn't that what emotional is? People who think with their heads look at things how they affect other people. People who think with their hearts look at things as how they affect themselves. I want to think with my head. I want to see things I do from the other person's point of view. When I say something what do they think about what I just said instead of how it makes me feel. I just don't seem to do it very well. Maybe I feel I am being played sometimes and want to prevent that and maybe even influence people to get what I want instead of doing what they want. I don't like myself very much and I want people to like me. Validation from outside. Maybe if I could do this I can like me from the inside and be happy even if I am alone.