He's My EX Now... So WHY do I Still Let Him Bother Me ?
I don't understand it. I've been Apart from Him now for OVER 6 Months, and still the Things He does or says, still get to Me. I know it doesn't make any sense. I know He's not worth the Time, or Trouble at all. Yet, still I get pulled into the " Drama " of His Chaotic Life, and so I find Myself troubled by His B.S. ! It's HIS PROBLEM, and NOT MINE... Yet, for some crazy reason I find Myself still caring. I Wish to God that I didn't. Especially since the Thoughts about this have been bothering Me so much lately that I haven't been able to get a Decent Night's Sleep in about 2 Weeks !
As if being bothered by what's going on in His Life isn't bad enough, the Thing is it isn't like I even Want Him Back ! I really DON'T ! I know deep down that IF I dared to be foolish enough to EVER take Him Back Again, it'd probably be the Very LAST Thing I EVER DID because His RAGE would very possibly end up causing MY DEMISE ! I'm not saying that for Shock Value either. It's the God's Honest Truth. I know this from My Past Experiences with Him, I'm ashamed to say. I allowed Him TOO Many Times to get away with Hurting Me BOTH Physically, AND Emotionally !
So... WHY do I even Bother thinking about His " Dramas " ?!?!?
A Very Good Example of just ONE of His Life " Dramas " is the Woman that is His Current Girlfriend. She's a friggin' IDIOT ! And.. NO, I'm NOT saying that out of Jealousy like You might assume. It's simply the Truth. She's only 3 Years Younger than Me, and yet She can barely spell the simplest of words. She writes like a 3 Grader ! I'm sorry if that makes Me sound like some sort of Snob, or something. I'm not really trying to be like that. It's just that I LOVE to Write, so the Writing of Someone Else is One of the Very First things that I notice about Them.
What's really Nuts is that She's already experienced some of the Violence I went through with Him, and She's Only had Him living with Her for a little over 6 Months ! Yet, despite how Much He's PHYSICALLY HURT HER, She's been CLAIMING LATELY that She's ENGAGED TO HIM, and that HE WANTS TO MARRY HER, AND WANTS HER JUST AS MUCH AS SHE WANTS HIM !
I wouldn't have a Problem with ANY of that IF I hadn't heard COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FROM HIM ! He's Told Me on the Phone during Several Different Conversations that the Whole " Marriage Idea " is ONLY HER IDEA, and HE DOES NOT WANT TO MARRY HER ! BUT... Just Recently I talked to One of His ExGfs, and She Claims that He told Her that HE DOES WANT TO MARRY HIS CURRENT GF !
So what am I supposed to Think ? AND WHY would He bother Lying to Me about it... IF He had Lied, that is ????!!!! It's like He's Playing " Mind Games " with Me, even Now when I'm Not even His GF anymore ! It's NOT RIGHT !
HOW DARE HE PLAY WITH ME LIKE THIS !
There's NO Reason for Him to Lie to Me. So I simply DON'T UNDERSTAND IT !
PLUS... Recently His Current GF HACKED INTO His Tagged.com Page, and Changed His STATUS FROM SINGLE TO ENGAGED ! She did this, even though He had told ME that He was Keeping His Tagged Status as SINGLE as a " Sign " to HER that He DOES NOT WANT TO MARRY HER !!!! UGH ! WTF ! On Top of This... I know Him well enough to feel strongly that She DID NOT HAVE HIS PERMISSION TO HACK INTO HIS TAGGED.COM PAGE ! He was Always VERY Private about Internet Things, and would NEVER share His Passwords with ANYONE... NOT EVEN HIS GF ! BUT... AGAIN... that " Other EXGF " CLAIMS THAT HIS CURRENT GF IS ' KEEPING UP ' HIS TAGGED.COM PAGE WHILE HE'S ' AWAY ' ! That's B.S. !!!! PURE B.S. !
The ONLY Problem is that right now I can only reach Him by Snail Mail to ASK HIM about ALL of this ! I can't Call Him... He can ONLY Call Me " COLLECT ", and JUST When I Want Him to Try to Call Me, Now suddenly it appears He has stopped trying to Call Me. He's probably read One of My Last letters to Him where I actually asked Him to Stop trying to Call Me Collect so Often, since I really can't afford it ! So it's a Crazy Situation. I just WISH He would Try to Reach Me ONE MORE TIME, so I could get the Answers I so greatly need... or at least the answers I so greatly want.
As if being bothered by what's going on in His Life isn't bad enough, the Thing is it isn't like I even Want Him Back ! I really DON'T ! I know deep down that IF I dared to be foolish enough to EVER take Him Back Again, it'd probably be the Very LAST Thing I EVER DID because His RAGE would very possibly end up causing MY DEMISE ! I'm not saying that for Shock Value either. It's the God's Honest Truth. I know this from My Past Experiences with Him, I'm ashamed to say. I allowed Him TOO Many Times to get away with Hurting Me BOTH Physically, AND Emotionally !
So... WHY do I even Bother thinking about His " Dramas " ?!?!?
A Very Good Example of just ONE of His Life " Dramas " is the Woman that is His Current Girlfriend. She's a friggin' IDIOT ! And.. NO, I'm NOT saying that out of Jealousy like You might assume. It's simply the Truth. She's only 3 Years Younger than Me, and yet She can barely spell the simplest of words. She writes like a 3 Grader ! I'm sorry if that makes Me sound like some sort of Snob, or something. I'm not really trying to be like that. It's just that I LOVE to Write, so the Writing of Someone Else is One of the Very First things that I notice about Them.
What's really Nuts is that She's already experienced some of the Violence I went through with Him, and She's Only had Him living with Her for a little over 6 Months ! Yet, despite how Much He's PHYSICALLY HURT HER, She's been CLAIMING LATELY that She's ENGAGED TO HIM, and that HE WANTS TO MARRY HER, AND WANTS HER JUST AS MUCH AS SHE WANTS HIM !
I wouldn't have a Problem with ANY of that IF I hadn't heard COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FROM HIM ! He's Told Me on the Phone during Several Different Conversations that the Whole " Marriage Idea " is ONLY HER IDEA, and HE DOES NOT WANT TO MARRY HER ! BUT... Just Recently I talked to One of His ExGfs, and She Claims that He told Her that HE DOES WANT TO MARRY HIS CURRENT GF !
So what am I supposed to Think ? AND WHY would He bother Lying to Me about it... IF He had Lied, that is ????!!!! It's like He's Playing " Mind Games " with Me, even Now when I'm Not even His GF anymore ! It's NOT RIGHT !
HOW DARE HE PLAY WITH ME LIKE THIS !
There's NO Reason for Him to Lie to Me. So I simply DON'T UNDERSTAND IT !
PLUS... Recently His Current GF HACKED INTO His Tagged.com Page, and Changed His STATUS FROM SINGLE TO ENGAGED ! She did this, even though He had told ME that He was Keeping His Tagged Status as SINGLE as a " Sign " to HER that He DOES NOT WANT TO MARRY HER !!!! UGH ! WTF ! On Top of This... I know Him well enough to feel strongly that She DID NOT HAVE HIS PERMISSION TO HACK INTO HIS TAGGED.COM PAGE ! He was Always VERY Private about Internet Things, and would NEVER share His Passwords with ANYONE... NOT EVEN HIS GF ! BUT... AGAIN... that " Other EXGF " CLAIMS THAT HIS CURRENT GF IS ' KEEPING UP ' HIS TAGGED.COM PAGE WHILE HE'S ' AWAY ' ! That's B.S. !!!! PURE B.S. !
The ONLY Problem is that right now I can only reach Him by Snail Mail to ASK HIM about ALL of this ! I can't Call Him... He can ONLY Call Me " COLLECT ", and JUST When I Want Him to Try to Call Me, Now suddenly it appears He has stopped trying to Call Me. He's probably read One of My Last letters to Him where I actually asked Him to Stop trying to Call Me Collect so Often, since I really can't afford it ! So it's a Crazy Situation. I just WISH He would Try to Reach Me ONE MORE TIME, so I could get the Answers I so greatly need... or at least the answers I so greatly want.
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