He\'s Back!!!!!!

Tuesday, I was at my mom's during lunch, and she was talking to her friend with a friend. They were saying things like,"You should tell her." If I tell her now, she won't eat her lunch." You gotta tell her, she needs to know." Before I even took my first bite of my lunch, I asked them to just spit it out. They were talking as if someone had died. Then my mom told me. My husband is back in Louisiana. My cousin saw him at our house, or should I say, his house. I ate my lunch, but could not finish it. Reality set in and fear started to well up inside me. I was freaking out, wondering when or if I would run into him. So far, so good. He's been cleaning up the yard and he has lights on in the house. Don't know what he plans to do. Some people think he's moving back. I hope not. My divorce won't be final until next year. I know there's property and the house to settle, but I don't care to see or speak to him. Just the thought of being near him scares me to death. I've been feeling so much at peace and calm since I made the decision to divorce him that I just don't know if I can handle being around him. My AA sponsor tells me I'll be able to handle it, and not to try to figure out the outcome. Handle things as they happen and pray to God for strength to get through it. I'm not afraid of any old feelings of love will return. I'm over him. I've moved on with my life. I'm working and taking care of myself. Have my own place, pay my own bills, and come and go as I please. Nobody to answer to and I don't have to defend myself all the time against unfounded accusations. I still have all the memories of his angry explosions and running around the house with one of his handguns, threatening to kill himself, me, and my family. And threatening to kill any unlucky person who just happened to stop by the house for any reason. I don't care to go through that horror any more. I've alerted all of my neighbors and friends. We have a neighborhood watch where I live now. I love where I live. It's quiet, peaceful. My neighbors are friendly and helpful. I'm not worried about the property. I told him he can have the house. It's falling apart anyway. His not working for years saw to the falling apart of the  house. I didn't make enough money to barely pay the bills or buy food, much less be able to do home repairs. He left me with no money, no running car, broken water pipe, no food. I can't believe he came down for the holidays. Why not spend it with his family? I bet his brother got tired of his bitching and moaning and groaning too. I just want my freedom. I don't need his verbal abuse or his negative attitude anymore.