HE's AWAKE

Christmas morning visiting hours in ICU Doors were about to open and we had all our presents ready....the family waiting impatiently to see the big doors open so we could rush to KENNY room to open gifts that Christmas Day Dec 25, 2009.  Ken's wife had worked it out that whether Ken was asleep or wake we were going to open gifts in ICU with Ken that Christmas morning.  We were all as excited as children on Christmas morning running from their rooms to see what Santa had left under the tree.  We didn't expect Ken to be awake as he had not opened his eyes for 3 weeks, but it didn't matter, we were having Chistmas as a family with Ken in ICU..Our hearts were racing as we begin to enter the door of the ICU room with excitement building just knowing we would be with Ken that Christmas morn.  As we entered the room.  One by one we started to say Merry Christmas to our sweet Kenny to be stunned with surprise that after 3 weeks Kenny was wide awake....His eyes were clear..his thinking was clear...he glanced around the room at everyone and you could tell with his eye wide open, as clear as if he had never been ill our Ken was fully awake, fully aware, fully with his eyes looking like our Ken. in seconds our Merry Christmases went to HE'S AWAKE. HE'S AWAKE..as the nurse ran in checking his vitals..checking everything.  He. Was that CHRISTMAS AWAKE ready to share the opening of gifts.  I can not put into word how we felt. Our Ken was awake, He was going to make it...all those weeks of wondering, worrying...OUR EXCITEMENT of HOPE WAS BEYOND WHAT WORDS COULD SAY...JUST THE JOY WE FELT...WE WERE HAPPIER THAN ONE COULD EVER BE..OUR HOPE WAS BACK. OUR BELIEF KEN WAS GOING TO MAKE IT HAD BEEN RENEWED that CHRISTMAS MORNING...WE Knew we still had work to do but our hope renewed Ken was beating this horrible disease..God was in control...My son was going to live...they nurse asked if he wanted any pain meds, he let her know in the way he could No not right then.  Each of us started opening our gifts..we showed each gift to Ken, wanting him to be as involved as possible.  I kept watching my baby blue eyes and I had my son back.  After weeks Ken was back..we finished opening our gifts and we noticed he was a bit tired and feeling some pain.  The nurse came in and noticed we had completed our gift sharing, she asked Ken if he needed pain meds.  As we gathered our gifts up and slowly started  leaving the nurse gave Ken his pain...we each gave him our love, wished him a Merry Christmas as we left the ICU ROOM...with a glacé back to my son, I saw the pain meds were becoming effective as Ken floated off to sleep escaping his pain...watching as he feel back to sleep, I whispered, I love you son and Merry Christmas..That day Dec 25, 2009 was the last time I saw my sweet son with his eyes opened.  Five days later, Dec 30, 2009, the end came..On that night 5 days after it seemed my son was starting to make a recovery that Christmas Day, my son's heart stopped beating.  His soul left this world..His body laid there but his Spirit, his soul left this world to the arms of Jesus.  I love you my son and I Thank God that he gave us that last Christmas Day with my baby, my child, my son...Forever my love to you I hold in my heart till we are together again...your mom forever.

Replies

Abotsd
Abotsd

I am so sorry he couldn\'t stay with you. Losing our sons is terrible, and the loss is not getting any better. I am determined to suffer less this year, I don\'t have the energy to keep it up anymore. We loved them, lost them, and they will stay in our hearts as long as we are alive. I am so sorry that Kenny couldn\'t stay. Love, Abby, soft hugs.
Jasons1mom
Jasons1mom

What an AMAZING experience to have witnessed and been able to hold dear the gift your family gave Kenny and in exchange, his gift for you! Thank you so much for sharing. Hold dear the feelings and let them envelope you.
So precious. And thank you so much for sharing with us here.
(((hugs))) Merrilee
AnnM
AnnM

So awesome that you all shared such a special time with your Ken before his passing...I am sure it was special for him too.
I am so sorry that you lost your precious son...I hate this for all us.
Gentle care,
AnnM
sonshinedeb
sonshinedeb

Christmas with Kenny, such a special gift. It must have been such a joyful day to have him awake. Hope must have been filling the room.
So very sad to have to loose him. I feel the heartbreak in you words. Your dearest son, the loving continues to grow. Balancing the missing with the memories is now apart of each mom\'s being now. Wish it will get a little gentler for you. Caring hugs, Debbie
CFMOM2
CFMOM2

Kenny awake was such a gift for him and all of you. I agree with Abby they are in our hearts forever. Sending you some peace, Kathy
MomofJosh
MomofJosh

What a gift to have Kenny awake and able to celebrate a last Christmas with you. I am so sorry your hopes were dampened with tears a few days later. This is a beautiful story and made me wistfully smile at the Christmas miracle that was before you. Thank you for sharing.
Tight hugs,
Leda
Livingjuicy
Livingjuicy

It is indeed your Christmas story and treasure.... So beautifully written and from a mother\'s heart.
jmk1973
jmk1973

What a wonderful gift God gave you, to spend that last Christmas with your wide awake son!! So sad to lose him five days later...
This is a beautiful journal. Thank you so much, for sharing...
(((HUGS))), Julia
JACL
JACL

Oh Sandi, this journal brought tears to my eyes. I felt your hope, your love and then your heartbreak in your words. This must have been so hard for you to write. I am so sorry that Ken passed after so much hope and joy.

I lost my son two months earlier in October 2009. It\'ll be seven years by the end of this new year that we lost our baby boys. Sometimes it feels like only yesterday. Sigh...

Sending you love and tight hugs,
Diane
Missinglisa
Missinglisa

Tight hugs. How wonderful that Ken could be awake to share his last Christmas with his earthly family. Lise left us on December 1, 2009. It is almost impossible to believe that she has been gone a full 6 years.
Thank you for sharing Christmas 2009 with us.
Love, M
Robin4
Robin4

I don\'t think I\'ve ever heard that story. Maybe you haven\'t shared it but it is truly bittersweet. Such joy then such sadness but a great memory to cherish and know you had one last celebration with Ken. Imagine the celebration when you see each other again in Heaven. Wow. Much love. Robin