He pulled a fast one!
Slippery T is what I used to call him and perhaps I should still. Yesterday T thought I wouldn't be home when the van was to get him. I was in a meeting with the Pastor of our church and the Principal and Assistant Principal of the other school I'm going to present to in October. I told T it was up to him to get himself going and to look for his ride. Well, I got home earlier than I thought and noticed he hadn't had anything to eat (he leaves evidence) so I make him a sandwich and told him to look for his ride. Well, he actually went outside (which he never does) to wait. He was unusually quiet so I asked him what was wrong. He said he didn't feel well - had a headache and sore throat. I told him that I know it will be hard but he can do it and then come home and rest. Well, I walked away. A few hours later I receive a call from the school. He never showed up! Strangely enough, maybe it was the way he was behaving and the fact that didn't actually see him get in the van, when the phone rang I had a feeling it was the school. I'm used to hearing from his former school (the asst. Principal's voice from the last few years) but now it's someone else calling. Sigh. She said she asked T's friend (a boy he got to know from their using days who attends there, also) if T commented at all on what he thinks about the new school. His friend told her that he hates it. No surprise there. He hadn't complained very much after the first day (actually not all) so I assumed that he accepted it and was going to try. The teacher told me that he's not trying and sits there most of the 3 hours. Not a good sign. Not sure how this is going to play out but I've learned to not get too worked up because I'm not in charge. T is a very social individual. He's smart. He's a looker - not just saying that because he's my son. I recall as far back as middle school, many moms telling me that their daughters thought that he was HOT. Truthfully, that bothered me. The word "HOT" for a middle school adolescent, coming from moms - no less, sounded - well - lets just say it seemed inappropriate. Anyway, the reason I mentioned his looks (along with the other things) is maybe he can go into acting. I KNOW, I KNOW - drugs seemed to be associated in that field. And it is a very difficult industry but.....I believe he would be good at it. I am just hoping he'll find his passion. He wants to do karate and I was going to sign him up this week, so perhaps that might give him the outlet he's looking for. I guess there is going to be try-outs for a movie associated with this karate place, which reminded me of suggesting, once he gets his hs diploma, he might want to pursue the entertainment industry. The owner and instructor suggested he try-out - saying he has the look. Anything! I hate to see him so down. I hope he will see that there are endless possibilities for him. Someday. Oh - yes things are moving in the right direction regarding the presentation. I wrote 4 very short articles that will be in our new community citizen's paper. The articles are part of a series called "NOT MY CHILD". After the title for each I have "did you know" bullets - listing stats, etc. And then, of course, ending it with...the details. I dragged my husband up to the coffee shop to meet the new publisher of this paper. We had a great time and I KNEW my husband would hit it off with this guy. I love this new concept - people writing their own articles - enclosing photos if they want - for events and such. Since this is so new - he is having a difficult time getting stories. So - I offer to help. Here I go again...... In addition - last night I receive a call from our deacon. The priest at our church wanted him to call me to be a part of a group (don't feel like going into the details) that will meet once a week for 8 weeks - so see if what another church is doing will work at our church. If so, that would mean more meetings and 8 more weeks at our church. I asked the deacon "why me?" He laughed and said that maybe our priest doesn't like me. Of course, he was kidding. I am flattered but.... I don't know. I know he'll be calling this morning for my answer. I know I'll say yes.
Replies
The paper series sounds great; it may open the door to conversations between parents, kids and perhaps outreach. I like the title a lot!!
....I can relate to the early sexuality stuff.....girls started calling in 5th grade. Unbelievable what they said and how \"available\" they were. In fact, I had to call several moms as the girls were leaving messages like \"I\'m nothing without a boyfriend...\" Also, they had phones in their rooms with separate lines and called at all hours; house rule was that no family member picked up or dialed out after 9 PM on a school night. Our rule was boys and girls in elementary school are friends, no kissing until middle school. I couldn\'t believe I even had to say that!!! YIKES!!! I think our son appreciated the boundaries because he could blame it on his uptight parents and didn\'t have to engage, so to speak.....he made up for it though, quite the Romeo.
Our son really took to martial arts, very athletic but not particularly team oriented. It\'s expensive considering the uniform consists of \"pajamas\" and no shoes.....especially if there is a requirement to participate in meets. The key to sticking with this is to have a \"master\" that lives the code of conduct that kids respect; there\'s a lot of tough love in the gym with expectations that it carry over into home and school. In our experience, parent and school input was a condition for moving up in belts (not just physical mastery of the skills). OK, it was a positive experience for us, but I think it depends on the kid and the willingness to have/use self discipline.
So, skipping school and doing what? Sounds as if he had a plan.... of course he knows that the school will call you....doesn\'t care?! If he doesn\'t go to school, will he work on his GED, go to work, live at home? Lack of motivation is tough!!!!!! Hang in there and take care!!!!!
It sounds like your project is moving along quite nicely. Remember, you can say \"no\" and that doesn\'t make you a bad person! :-) T\'s behavior is a tough one. Like Penpal I wonder what T\'s plan is if he doesn\'t continue to go to this school? Acting doesn\'t have to involve drugs and is an honest living if that\'s what he wants to do.
What a lot of possibilities for T. He needs some guidance in the right direction and that could make all the difference! Some kids need that extra push and away they go. Hope this can happen for him. My M. took tai kwon do and did very well in it, plus judo. Was very focused and enjoyed it. She may take it up again someday. Things will work out - keep the faith!
You really are becoming so involved, that\'s so good for YOU! Like you said, you have no control over certain things in your life. The only thing you can control is you, and it seems like you\'re doing all the right things!