HE LEFT ME YESTERDAY !!!!!!

HE LEFT ME YESTERDAY !!!!! I should have seen it coming, I suppose. After all, We'd been arguing quite a bit lately..... and Every Arguement lately seemed to be about the SAME THING - Him whining that He's tired of supposedly " doing Everything " for US !!!! That was such a LOAD of Garbage, since the Way I saw it.... WHY should it be so hard for Him to do some Things for US, when He wasn't working Full-Time anyways ?!!! Plus, He's not the One with Knee Problems, I AM ! He's an Able-Bodied Person, so WHY was it so Hard for Him to do a Few Simple Things for US like go Get the Mail, Take the Garbage out, and Do the Laundry ?????IF He had TRULY LOVED ME the Way that He ALWAYS SAID THAT HE DID, then those Things should NOT have been such a Big Deal to Him !!!! Right ????? Anyways, I suppose in His Mind He believes that leaving Me for some Other Woman - probably One that doesn't have the same Health problems that I do - will be a LOT Different, and a LOT Better for HIM !!!!! HE FORGETS ONE THING.... NO MATTER WHO HE'S WITH.... ONE THING REMAINS THE EXACT SAME... HIS RAGE... AND HIS UNPREDICTABLE MOODS !!!!! If He thinks that being with some Other Woman that waits on Him HAND AND FOOT, and doesn't ask Him to do ANYTHING FOR THEM, will make such a HUGE DIFFERENCE... He's got ANOTHER THING COMING !!!!! He'll find out soon enough that it WON'T MAKE A DIFFERENCE AT ALL !!!!! PLUS.... Whoever this Other Woman is, She'll quickly find out that Ray is NOT the MAN that She THOUGHT He was by their ONLINE CONVERSATIONS... AND POSSIBLY PHONE CONVERSATIONS AS WELL !!!!!I'm sure that whoever the Other Woman is, that She got an Entirely Different Picture of who My Now ExBf Ray is, rather than WHO HE REALLY IS !!!!! The Thing is now WHEN - and it WILL happen, For Sure - She realizes what a HUGE Mistake She made allowing Him to move in with Her, and She KICKS HIS BUTT OUT, I've got to remember EVERYTHING HE PUT ME THROUGH... ALL THE HELL HE PUT ME THROUGH... and NOT TAKE HIM BACK !!!!! I CAN'T TAKE HIM BACK AGAIN EVER !!!!! I KNOW THIS... I KNOW THAT NO MATTER WHAT HE SAYS TO ME.... I'VE GOT TO BE STRONG, AND RESIST... AND NEVER TAKE HIM BACK AGAIN !!!!! He's done this to Me TOO MANY TIMES !!!!..... despite the FACT that He IS ABUSIVE !!!!....and I DEFINITELY DON'T NEED THAT, OR DESERVE THAT, IN MY LIFE !!!! WHAT I CAN'T FIGURE OUT RIGHT NOW IS WHY AM I HURTING SO MUCH OVER THIS ??????WHY DOES IT HURT SO MUCH THAT HE LEFT ME, WHEN I KNOW HOW MUCH BETTER MY LIFE WILL BE WITHOUT HIM ???? IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE AT ALL !!!!! ONE THING that makes it HURT BADLY is the WAY that Ray LEFT ME !!!! HE LEFT ME UNDER THE EXCUSE OF GOING TO A NOON A.A. MEETING..... AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT HE CLAIMED TO BE GOING ' OUT ' TO DO, WHILE I WAS IN THE BATH AT THE TIME !!!! BUT WHEN I GOT OUT OF THE BATHROOM, AND AS THE DAY PROGRESSED, AND I HADN'T HEARD FROM HIM.... I STARTED INSTINCTIVELY TO FEEL THAT SOMETHING WAS WRONG... SO I LOOKED IN HIS CLOSET, AND DISCOVERED THAT ALL OF HIS CLOTHES WERE GONE !!!!!! After further looking around the Apartment I found Other things of His were GONE too ! So I knew He had LIED to ME, and He had actually LEFT ME AGAIN !!!!! WHY DID HE LEAVE LIKE A COWARD, WITHOUT SAYING GOODBYE ?????!!!!He did that after I had even TOLD HIM during a Conversation a while back, that IF the Day EVER came where He Left Me AGAIN, that I would appreciate it if He would NOT leave Me SUDDENLY WITHOUT SAYING GOODBYE !!!! I told Him about how MUCH MORE that HURTS ME !!!! But all He could say in Reply was that doing it THAT WAY is EASIER FOR HIM !!!!! I guess that was the Bottom Line, I suppose.... HE WAS A COMPLETE COWARD, AND TOOK THE WAY OUT THAT WAS EASIER ON HIM... AND TO HELL WITH MY HEART... TO HELL WITH MY FEELINGS !!!! Of course, I don't know WHY it should surprise Me, when after all there weren't many times when He would actually consider MY FEELINGS about Something ! It was mostly ALWAYS ABOUT HIM !!!!! From the Grocery List, to what Movies We watched, even to what accessories for the Computer We should get; EVERYTHING WAS ALWAYS ABOUT HIM....AND WHAT HE WANTED ! At least now I can live for Myself, and what I want, and need.I'm trying to remind Myself of this, despite the TEARS in My EYES.... and the PAIN in My Heart right now !!!!