HE is struggling?
I went on about my day, worked out, showered, out to lunch with the kiddo, errands, etc. The usual Sunday routine.
He emails me...."Is there someone else?" I mean, seriously? I felt like responding "YES- your WIFE!" But I don't have a need to be captain obvious and it was an honest question. He's trying to figure out why I won't see him and why I'm phasing out.
My response:
"There isn't someone else- for me. And I'm not looking right now.
I just can't be the other woman for the rest of my life. I'm sorry if that hurts you
but you were never really mine so I was never really yours. Only I kinda was yours
because I wanted to be yours. And I regret that. Its probably difficult for you to relate
because unless you have been in my position its hard to understand. But try to imagine
that you love someone and they don't love u back. And then imagine that this person u
love cheats on u and loves someone new but wants to keep u around for sex. Then
imagine how it feels when that person u love is single again but still only wants u for
sex only. Then imagine how u feel when that person u love gets pregnant and then
married and then pregnant again. The person u love has a life with someone else. The
person u love can't spend the night after sex. The person u love can't talk to u on the
phone. The person u love can't go out in public with u. Imagine how it feels.....to feel
rejected over and over and over again. So as amazing as the sex is.....for me its not
enough. It never was. Its got nothing to do with u or how I feel about u. I need to be
better to myself."
He emails me...."Is there someone else?" I mean, seriously? I felt like responding "YES- your WIFE!" But I don't have a need to be captain obvious and it was an honest question. He's trying to figure out why I won't see him and why I'm phasing out.
My response:
"There isn't someone else- for me. And I'm not looking right now.
I just can't be the other woman for the rest of my life. I'm sorry if that hurts you
but you were never really mine so I was never really yours. Only I kinda was yours
because I wanted to be yours. And I regret that. Its probably difficult for you to relate
because unless you have been in my position its hard to understand. But try to imagine
that you love someone and they don't love u back. And then imagine that this person u
love cheats on u and loves someone new but wants to keep u around for sex. Then
imagine how it feels when that person u love is single again but still only wants u for
sex only. Then imagine how u feel when that person u love gets pregnant and then
married and then pregnant again. The person u love has a life with someone else. The
person u love can't spend the night after sex. The person u love can't talk to u on the
phone. The person u love can't go out in public with u. Imagine how it feels.....to feel
rejected over and over and over again. So as amazing as the sex is.....for me its not
enough. It never was. Its got nothing to do with u or how I feel about u. I need to be
better to myself."
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