Having trouble letting go of our life together.

I'm having a hard night tonight.  I know that Chuck is gone, but I would give anything to see him walk in the room.  I think that it is the time of year that is making it emotionally hard for me.  Last year, at this time, he was having symptoms but we didn't know what was wrong.  I carefully bagged up some leaves yesterday to take to our city compost pile.  I started to shed some tears, probably because this is something that Chuck took care of.  He always bagged them up and took them to the compost.  The holidays are approaching, so that adds to the emotions as well.
My knee is recovering well.  Thankfully, there aren't majoy long lasting complications resulting from the dislocation.  I see the doc the 11th.  He wants to see how things are going.  He doesn't want me working until then, so that is hard.  Going to work got me out of the house and with people.  Now, for the past 2 weeks, I've been taking it easy because of my knee. 
I know I have people who care, but what I really miss is someone to hug and hold me at night.  I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels that way.  I have a staff meeting in the morning, so that will be good to be able to talk to coworkers.
I will make it.  I just have to convince myself that my partner is gone and mentally let him go.  That is so hard to do.