Having Daily Breakdowns with my Daily Hot Flashes
I want to write an entry that's inspiring, and I will, but I just need to get this off my chest. I feel bad about my situation. I hate that I am naturally infertile because I did not expect it. No one expects to be infertile, but I'm still pretty pissed about it.It started with a myomectomy, then an infection from a simple HSG, then I developed a large cyst that had to be removed along with my left ovary and fallopian tube. Then I developed another cyst on my right ovary and part of the ovary and some more fibroids had to be removed three weeks ago. I have stage 4 endometriosis and I am tired of surgeries. I found the love of my life and I may not be able to give him children and it makes me unbelievably sad.My husband is upset with me because he doesn't think I have faith that we can have children.I am feeling a little hopeless. Because my body is adjusting I am having these hot flashes which reminds me that my remaining ovary is not functioning very well.I feel pretty sad and I can't seem to talk to anyone because I'm told to either pray, have faith and don't let the universe hear that you're feeling hopeless.I want to be more faithful, but I can't help but feel bad.Surgery was successful, but I feel so scared that this does not mean anything.My husband told me that he can't have faith for the both of us. He's right, he can't. I need faith too, but now I can't tell him how I'm feeling. I can't talk to my mom because all she's going to do is tell me to pray. Its not a bad answer, nor is it wrong, but its unsatisfying.