Having an emotional day

I'm not having a good day today. Hormones are raging out of control. Anger and sadness. Crying all day. Went outside to tackle some bushes with trimming shears when the weather got wicked. Rain, thunder, lightning.  Had to stop and come in. Satellite went out, so I popped in a movie borrowed from a friend. Made me cry even more. Just what I needed. Already feeling terrible and even more so watching this movie. Oh well, can't hold it in forever. Talked a bit to my estranged hubby until the weather got bad and service went out. I think maybe that was a God thing. Anyway, he did follow through and had the home phone service disconnected. I've been crying all day and not feeling good physically to boot. I don't want to fight anymore with hubby, but I think he is very much in denial about our marriage. He still has the same attitude about his work, never satisfied and always looking for greener pastures. He can't seem to stick with anything for any decent period of time.  I just try to keep things pleasant. He did send me some money. Trying to hold out for as much as he can send me. He's working and I'm sure making more money than I am. He has a car and continues to work on it, and let me know all about it. But at the same time, he knows I'm without, still trying to come up with the money to get mine repaired. I'm still finding things missing around here that only he could have taken. Was looking for a disk which he burned my resume on. Can't find it, but found an old floppy disk labeled resume, dated, and my name on it, but when I put it in the computer. Nothing. No resume or anything on the disk. Can't find any old copies of my resume. Needless to say, this has really pissed me off. I know things are going to get ugly again, come August or September when he will want me to go up to PA to meet him. I'll have to tell him 'no'. I can't go up there. It will be the whole mess all over again. The fighting, the controlling, manipulating. Him talking bad about my family, and how everybody else is to blame for his failures down here. I can't put up with that and I refuse to listen to it anymore. I just need some prayers.