Having an Acceptance Moment Possibly

There is nothing I can do right now at this point, that I haven't done yet. I was told by the doctor after the 3rd miscarriage that I would be more fertile and would likely get pregnant again quickly even without intervention. That isn't happening. Doc also said that I had a better chance of not having another miscarriage if I were to get pregnant within 6 months of the miscarriage. That would be December. I told my husband last night that if I am not pregnant by early November I want to go to the doctor for further testing. I feel that it would be best to get in before the holidays. He seemed concerned about the cost. I said realistically we will pay more for another miscarriage and still not have a live healthy baby. It seems any way we go we will literally have to "earn" the right to have more children. I also said I don't care about Christmas or birthday presents for the rest of my life. Felt somewhat childish having to say that but it's true. I want children not toys! I didn't mention that he is making the payments on his new motorcycle (toy). I can only change what I do and heal myself. That's all.