Having a Rough Day

Every time I even think about the paperwork I have to fill out before I go for my appointment at the transplant clinic I just start to cry. I know this isn't imminent for me (yet) but I kept thinking, as I stood out on my lawn, that I'm not going to live as long as I hoped to. I hope I see my kids get married, have children of their own and get to be the Grandma I wanted to be (my kids are only 13 and 16, so this is a long way off yet). My sister-in-law had a liver transplant that was supposed to make her well again - and instead she died five months later, never getting healthy again. I soooo want to breathe again, but I'm just so scared.