Having a bad day :(

I have slept all day today because I can't face my anxiety. Sleep is my escape. When I'm sleeping I can't feel pain, I can't feel sorrow, I can't feel angst. I can't feel anything. When I wake up I feel upset because I did.
I've stopped feeling sorry for myself not so long ago. Being a victim is not conductive to becoming healthy. I started mindfulness meditation just yesterday. I went well, but today I couldn't concentrate. I guess the roar from the trains going past my window and the planes flying overhead were too much. Funny they didn't bother me yesterday.
I feel desperate. I want a solution to my problems, but it has to be instant and certain to be successful 100%. This is what anxiety sufferers want: certainty. I want to be certain I will never suffer again. I want to be certain my financial needs will be covered until the day I die. I want to be certain I will die a painless death.
Nothing is making me happy nowadays, but I have come to realize that happiness comes from within. I can only make myself happy, sad, angry, content. I have come to understand that what I need to improve my health is a change in attitude, a can-do attitude and lots of positive thinking. Yes, I know I can achieve piece of mind.
Let's do it.