Having a bad day.....

Just feeling blah today...doesn't help that I am sick too and have way too much time to think.  I am digging deep trying to find that strength. I hate being in the house when he is there..I usually just go in my room and lock that door and watch TV. Its almost as thought I am a prisoner in my own home.  He works evenings so the evenings that he is gone is so peaceful..it like a relief when he walks out that door...a weight lifted off my shoulders. Tonight isn't one of those nights...he is off!!  So when I get home from work he will be there...chances are something will set him off and he will yell at me about something..even though I say nothing to him..something will get him going...he can't go a day without telling me that I am stupid, crazy, useless... I use to react and I know he liked that but now I say nothing..I just walk away...go in my room...lock my door...wondering how my life came to this...I had such hopes and dreams... I will never let him see me cry...to see me cry gives him power...slowly day by day I am taking that power away from him.....he can't control me and he can't hurt me if I don't let his words get to me....if I stay strong...stay focused...and contine to play my escape.......