Haven't been on in a while...

So, I have not posted a journal entry in a long time. Here is an update, to anyone who cares. Which I don't think there are any people how do. I have finally started to make my own money, and have my own place with my husband. I am happy with him, but that is the only thing in my life that I am happy about. I get anxious all the time. My depression is awful. I am currently not on meds right now, because things are difficult right now. I had a little break down today about everything, and I am so mad at myself. I really need to grow the fuck up. I just want sooo many things in my life to change so badly. I need help, I need to go to therapy. I also don't have a social life. I just at my apartment all the time. The only person I talk to in my family is my older sister. And we really don't talk often. Which means we never hang out. Which we used too. We even lived together. But then we had a huge fight, and she stopped talking to me for six months. That was one of the hardest things I had to go through. I just really, really can't take it anymore sometimes. I am also doing drugs. Just Xanax and weed to numb the pain. I don't know what to. So, I hope someone reads this.