Have you ever felt conned?
I have been thinking a lot about things here and reading comments of others here on DS about friendships. Have you ever felt that you have been conned by some of the friends here on DS?
Sometimes you send message after message to a "friend" on your "friend" list and you never hear anything for a long, long time. When they finally respond, they say, "I just don't get on DS much". If that be true, how come they are seen on chat for at least an hour at a time. They seem like they are trying to appease their own conscience or, they are just being "nice" instead of either telling you that they have ignored your messages rather than remove you from their "friends" list.
I guess I am from the old school but, when you send them nice messages. share your week or day with them. Tell them what is happening in your life and you ask them what is happening in theirs. You try to form some type of common ground to message about and learn more about them, to strengthen and improve your friendship and, they just ignore it all and never message back. I just don't understand this at all. I understand that we all have issues and things that we deal with on a daily basis but, somewhere in our time frame, we could at least answer a message.
Is this just me that feels this way? I am sorry but, if I am that lousy of a friend, that I do not answer messages that are written to me, over and over again, then remove me as a friend because to me, I must not really be a friend at all.
Sometimes you send message after message to a "friend" on your "friend" list and you never hear anything for a long, long time. When they finally respond, they say, "I just don't get on DS much". If that be true, how come they are seen on chat for at least an hour at a time. They seem like they are trying to appease their own conscience or, they are just being "nice" instead of either telling you that they have ignored your messages rather than remove you from their "friends" list.
I guess I am from the old school but, when you send them nice messages. share your week or day with them. Tell them what is happening in your life and you ask them what is happening in theirs. You try to form some type of common ground to message about and learn more about them, to strengthen and improve your friendship and, they just ignore it all and never message back. I just don't understand this at all. I understand that we all have issues and things that we deal with on a daily basis but, somewhere in our time frame, we could at least answer a message.
Is this just me that feels this way? I am sorry but, if I am that lousy of a friend, that I do not answer messages that are written to me, over and over again, then remove me as a friend because to me, I must not really be a friend at all.
Replies
oh my gosh, do I ever hear you!. I have been deeply hurt by what I thought were friends . People I took into my heart as family. Is it you I don\'t know is it me, I don\'t know. I do know this tho I have been wronged and they have apologized yet nothing changed. I still love them and have forgiven them but i have also learned this. 1john 3:16 says We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. vs. 17 says But whoever has the world\'s goods, and beholds his brother in need and closes his heart against him, how does the love of God abide in him. Peewee, not all of us are the same but we are all part of the same body of Christ. Each of us has walked through life with hurts and pains that God allowed to help us to help others in their time of need. I have found that with my brothers and sisters in Christ, the Love of helping another through a difficult period which they can relate to is no longer there. I have found that it is my Lord and I who are together, and He is the one true friend I have. I do praise God that you have always been there through church and now last night through help. I felt the love of the Lord flow from you and you did care enough about me to help me understand . I wish I had just turned to you first. I have deleted friends from my list now, not out of anger but of a deeper understanding of what a true friend is. I have been there for them but when I needed them they were not there for me. This I do not understand but accept as the way it is now or always was and I never saw it. I hope you consider me a friend and know that I want to be here for you if you ever need me. God Bless you peewee, hugs, connie
THANK YOU! , THANK YOU!, THANK YOU! WHAT YOU SPOKE CAME ALSO FROM MY HEART. THIS WAS A BLESSING FOR ME TO READ TODAY THAT I AM NOT ALONE ON THIS. YOU SPOKE MY HEART CRY.....
I LEFT A RESPONSE ON HERE BUT I GUESS IT DIDNT GO THRU. I JUST WANTED TO SAY THAT IM WITH YOU AND CONNIE BOTH. I HAVE BEEN GOING THRU THE SAME THING AND I HAVE REALLY BEEN HURT SO BAD. THIS IS A FANTASTIC JOURNAL AND I HOPE THAT OTHERS WILL READ IT AND GET ALOT OUT OF IT. I COULDNT HAVE SAID IT BETTER. THANK YOU FOR SAYING WHAT I HAVE BEEN FEELING!!!!!!!!!!
its not the quantity of friends that matter but the quality. in all my years here i have narrowed my friend list down to 10 names and of those 10 I hear from 2 on a semi-regular basis. In the past it has hurt me to see these so called friends corresponding with others but ignoring me. i\'ve learned to turn away from them and after a while of seeing that they are on DS and just not talking to me I have deleted them. One person even had the nerve to say that she keeps in touch with everyone on her list everyday. that lasted about a week and then messages from her only came if i sent her one. i got tired of doing that so I deleted them. I have no fear of deleting people anymore. i know what I\'m looking for in a friend and apparently not too many have the same ideas or else I just haven\'t found them. Anymore, the only reason I come on DS is to talk to one of 2 people. How sad is that. Don\'t let what others do bother you. Cherish the people that act the way you act and forget the rest. It\'s not worth the aggravation.
I appreciate all these posts. Idk how this group is supposed to work. I came here originally to look for support, i\'m not sure whether i was looking up chronic fatigue or depression:) I struggle with both. if i was supposed to b keeping up with individuals, i\'m sorry 4 not doing that. Recently i did something stupid that has damaged my integrity and my reputation with a small group that i lead and i am absolutely heartsick and devastated and cry about it almost every day.
I think we have a few good DS friends and acquaintances just like in life... I go through my list now and then and delete people Im never in touch with .. some I have no idea who they are.... I have also gone through periods when Ive been off of DS when Im not well.. I sort of shut down at those times...I know this hurts you Peewee... You do have good people here who care about you...xo