have to stop

ok since i have been recovered from my crash tht gave me my TBI i would always say tht i have a brsain injury to allow me to get out of some things. like if i forgot about things i would tell everybody tht i have a brain injury in order to get out of some lil things or so tht i slid by wit other things tht i did wrong on purpose. i did this cuz i thot i had a permiment excuse to get by or take the easy lane in life nd i really liked tht fact cuz i have always been kinda lazy, nd have always tried takin the short cuts. i have seen certain things tht have made me realize tht i prolly should stop doin this but did it set in? NO i kept doing the same things. i mean by using my dissability as the excuse for slackin or doing something else had to be one of the reasons my girlfriend of 3 years Emily broke up with me. it wasnt the main factor in our end of the relationship, we were together for a year nd a half before the crash nd she stuck right by my side thru my whole recovery nd is one of the main factors in why i have recovered soo well cuz she would always push me to get better nd i wanted to get better to keep her. I always used to say when i forgot things or something i have a brain injury nd she or other people would say tht i need to stop using tht excuse which i prolly should have cuz whatever it was i was doing i def would have done pre injury too. i would say tht i can keep usin it as long as i still have the brain injury nd its not going away so i can keep using this. i would say tht to everyone my parents, my bro, sis, girl at the time nd pretty much most of my friends, nd emplorers, teachers nd wat not.  back wen we broke up i prolly shoulda realized tht i shopulda stopped, i said i would cut back which never happened i prolly did it more with my bosses nd other people. well the main reason im writin this is because at the YMCA i work at i am tryin to get more hours nd more work but when one job opened i went for it and used my boss as a reference but another guy tht works in the office as my boss got the job which the nopened up his job so i asked for tht one instead nd he gave to his boy who has been workin there sometimes. but wen i asked he kept tryin to say things for me not to want it nd wen i was talkin to him some references tht i have used my brain injury as an excuse for one thing or another prolly got him worried nd has other people worried tht i am brain injured nd its not gonna go away which is wont but i can nd will stop usin it as an excuse to get over on things easier so i can move forward.  i now see tht it has gotten me past some lil things but is now holdin my advancement nd recovery. so now so i can not be looked as the guy with the disability nd prolly not gonna be successful. so now i am goin to stop using my brain injury or joker as i call it sometimes. so if i mess the lil things up o well it happens noones perfect but o well i wont use the joker unless tht was really the reason even tho it rarely ever is.