Have to go in for surgery :(
Well I havent written on here in a while. I have had alot goin on though. Went to doc appoint on Monday and what else should I have expected but bad news. Seems to be the story of my life. Well let me start at the begining. I had discussed with my doc that I wanted to start trying again for another baby around June. Of course her first response was "do you think you are mantally ready?".. In a way yes I am but then other days I am not sure. When I think of another baby and start to "dream" I find myself daydreaming and calling the baby Max. Maybe I am still dreaming bout the life I should of had with him. Then the other days I picture myself with a baby and telling the new baby about Max rather than call them Max.Anyhow, my doc had told me that they had found a cyst on my overies when they did the US when I was pregnant. Yeah okay..thanks for telling me that when they were found rather than lay this shit on me now. So she sent me in to get another US to see if they have grown or shrunk. Well I guess they are the same size. She told me I have two options, get the large one removed or retest in 3 months to see if it got any smaller.I dont want to wait three months because if it doesnt get any smaller then Ill have to get it removed and that pushes things off even further. I told her that I just want to get it removed. She then tells me that because of the size I may end up loosing my right overy compleatly. YAY ME!!!! I asked her if I would have any chance in hell of ever having another baby if its removed?..she told me that woman can get pregnant with just one and they will put me on fertility meds to help. So I am set up for surgery May 19th. Exactley 2 weeks after Max's memorial. I should be caring for a new born baby May 19th not trying to do whatever I need to to try to get pregnant again. I told my donor that things have to be put off. He was very supportive about the whole thing. He said that we will just have to try harder but we will make it happen. He also then threw in "why dont you hurry up and get pregnant now and they will have to postpone surgery untill after its born"..ya know, I love that man to death and he is one of my best friends but sometimes I dont think he uses his brain. I know his intentions were good, but I had to explain to him I need to do everything right this time. If its ment to be then it will happen whether its a few months from now or a year from now. It just seems like it one bad thing after another...all I need now is to get fired, get evicted and get audited by the IRS and Ill just have the best friggin year of my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Hey love. I sort of understand what you\'re going through. A week before Aaron was born my husband totaled his truck, then Aaron was born sleeping, we had to move out of our house before we got evicted, then about 3 weeks after that my husband got kidney stones and we thought he was going to have to have surgery. It seemed like one thing after another. Of course the other events seemed minimal to me after we lost Aaron. But I also know how you feel about possibly losing one of your ovaries and it effecting your fertility. I have both of mine but they don\'t seem to work well therefore we have a hard time getting pregnant too. It took us 4 years to get Aaron w/o fetility meds and now I\'m in the same boat as you--I want another baby but there are some days I feel like I\'m not ready. When we do start trying again I think I may want to use fertility treatments to speed up the process. It all seems overwhelming at times. I guess the only advice I can give you is to take a deep breath and focus on what positive things you do have around you. Or what I\'ve done is focus on something that is stable around me...this helps because it feels like everything else is turned upside down. I hope this helps. I\'ve got you in my prayers--I\'m praying that they are able to remove that cyst and leave your ovary in tact. Also praying for our peace. Love Jessie.
Hey! I know how you feel with the one thing after the other... To quickly sum up my experience:
The week before Victoria was born sleeping, I had severe pelvic pain to the point where I was completely immobilized, they were talking about putting me in the hopsital on a constant drip of IV pain meds to control the pain. Then I found out her heart had stopped beating at a follow up for this pain I was in. I delivered her without drugs, because there was no time for the epidural once labour was underway. Then the very next day after being released from teh hospital my Mother (who also lost a baby at 34 weeks, 35 years ago) suffered a heart attack and was admitted to the same hospital I just delivered in. One week after delivering Victoria, after my Mom had stents put in her coronary arteries, I began to hemorrhage. I was given the run around at the local ER and sent home only to bleed out pretty much at home. I was rushed into the same ER and admitted right away, transfused and had to have surgery. After things settled down, we were able to joke about it... saying we were competing for who was taking up the most hospital resources, me or my mom. We are both okay now, and moving forward with our lives but at the time it seemed like the saying - \"when it rains, it pours\" was written for our lives!
I hope that your surgery goes well and that they don\'t have to remove your ovary. I have heard of ppl getting pregnant with only one. You will just ovulate less often and have to keep track more diligently I think. You are probably scared to have the surgery but I\'m sure it will all go fine. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!!!
((HUGS)) ~ Jodi
Oh boy. I\'m sorry for all this heartache. I will give you some hope. My best friend has one ovary and she has had 2 healthy babies without any trouble conceiving. It can and will happen for you too. Just keep a positive mind. I figure we are all bound to have some good news sooner or later right? Hang in there. Big hugs to you.
Michelle
i\'m sorry honey! my grandma conceived 4 kids off of one overy so have faith!=0( this must be so tough for you. where all here for you sweetie! good luck with the surgery hopefully they wont have to remove your overy.
I am sorry that this hits now. I thought that most cysts dissolved on their own while pregnant... I had one and it completely went away while I was pregnant with Annaya.
Anyway, I think I would get a second opinion before you have the surgery. If you are not in pain, you definitely need to get a second opinion.
Hugs!!!
N.
I hope all goes well with the your operation. Stay strong! Everything will be OK.
...And I completely understand how you feel about a new baby and the ties to Max. I find myself going back and forth on when and if I will ever try again. I find myself telling my baby about their big sister who passed, but then I realize that I really just want my Mani back - and that is not possible. I don\'t think I am even ready to start thinking about trying again anytime soon. Not while I feel so emotionally and mentally all over the place at times. I decided I\'m just going to take things one day at a time, and if it is meant for me to try again, time will tell.
No matter what you decide, I wish you only the best! :)