Haunted...
I have felt a sense of haunting but not by Trevor, by my thoughts. It started when I would walk out the door, as it was on the steps the Police came and informed me of Trevor's death. Then I started spending less time upstairs, as that is where Trevor's room is.
I must say, the feelings are NOT as strong but they are there.
Also last night I finally ordered the cremation urn , I needed to use my tax refund as they are very expensive and of course Trevor had no Insurance. The wonderful man at the funeral home will transfer the cremains for me. The one supplied by the funeral was ok, but my daughter and I found just the right one for Trevor.
I must say, the feelings are NOT as strong but they are there.
Also last night I finally ordered the cremation urn , I needed to use my tax refund as they are very expensive and of course Trevor had no Insurance. The wonderful man at the funeral home will transfer the cremains for me. The one supplied by the funeral was ok, but my daughter and I found just the right one for Trevor.
Replies
Yes, I understand..... The front door...where the police entered my home tell me the most horrendous, outrageous, thing I\'d ever been told. Her room, although I slept in her bed for months...it was both comforting and haunting.
I understand, and I send my love and positive energy of HOPE and HEALING to you my sweet friend.
I know the new urn is just perfect and I am glad you have been able to do this. It\'s a very emotional time...thing to be doing.... You honor your son well, and he is proud!
Love and tight heart hugs~~Teri
I understand those feelings and truly I believe it is all a part of the healing process. To feel all that you must and know that layer by layer healing is happening even on those days you doubt it could possibly BE...
I\'m sure the urn will be beautiful and Doug\'s is tucked away in a red rock niche in the red rock desert of southern Utah overlooking where we scattered his ashes. Each year we hike to see if it is still there and if it ever isn\'t that will be okay too. We\'ll hike there again in May and it will be our fifth season of doing so... Always brings some tears and intense longing yet a peacefulness too. Such a spin cycle of emotions that we as mothers must experience as individuals and and collectively too.
Loving care to you this day and so very grateful that you are finding comfort here as I know I have and continue to as well. Thank goodness for each of you... my sisters of the heart who companion me daily. Huge exhale....
XO Joanie
We keep Morgan\'s bedroom door closed...I only go in to water her plant,,,
at first,,,I went in to hold her things,, I spend very little time upstairs,,,it;s just hard....so understand..love ya!
All I have of my son is some photos & a small heart pendant that he gave me for Christmas when he was very little. I wear it around my neck now & never take it off. But it does haunt me that we were estranged & never fixed the relationship.
Josh was a smoker. The first Christmas he was gone I smelled cigarette smoke in my bedroom. I did not mention it to my husband because he doesn\'t believe in that sort of thing. It was wonderful though when he walked into the kitchen and said, \"It smells like cigarette smoke in here.\" I just smiled.
I know that is not what you are talking about but part of my earlier healing was to tell myself that Josh was still dead every morning. It gave me the reality check that I needed and I am not sure when I was healed enough to stop.
With love,
Leda
I so understand! For me, it was not anyone at the door, it was a telephone call. I am glad to be your friend here. We support each other. I have not yet bought Michael an urn (maybe some day), but I am comforted by his cremains being right here with me on the mantle, even if in the box that he came home in. Hang in there, we are together on this journey. Hugs, Belinda
I understand the \"haunting\" feeling...It was hard for me to go into my son\'s old bedroom...for me he had already moved out and I had turned the room into a guest bedroom that he used when he came home...my daughter had moved out before him and it was a guest room when she visited. My older son was the first to move (close to my daughter) and that room became an office...
But Daren\'s old room still had some legos he had built as a child on the shelves, a helicopter sticker on the door (he wanted to be a helicopter pilot when he was young). I would walk by the closed door and see the sticker and get goosebumps and then I would be transported in time...it used to be my undoing...later I came to find it warm and inviting.
But the front door and the living room were hard to be in...it was where I listened to the chaiplin that came to tell me of Daren\'s accident...I
oops...could never quite shake that feeling...we later lost the house to foreclosure...but when I drive by the house--gosh the floodgate opens once more...
We understand...
AnnM
Thank you all for responding, once again, I don\'t feel alone, I mentioned this to a co-worker, and she of course couldn\'t say anything. Now, as I walk out the door onto the porch, I won\'t be so alone...
We each have our own triggers...and they often appear when you are least expecting it. It is so normal and so hard...eventually they are not as frequent...love and gentle hugs...Karen