Hate

Nothing has gotten better in my life. awhile ago i was trying too sleep and i started crying and there was someone next to me so i had too go into the bathroom and cry without waking anybody up. That night i promised that i would keep my mouth shut and make it easier on every one. So now i live in the basement,i barely complain,i never talk back (if i talk at all) when not spoken to i also try to keep them happy and hide my depression. My mom knows sometimes i get sad but she doesn't know how far it goes.

When ever i mess up and go to far or do something without thinking like becoming to 'sassy' or loud i immediately think

"how could you be so stupid" 

 "What's wrong with you"

Or

"it's all your fault you should have kept your mouth shut"

And i believe these thoughts now so i follow them.

Keep your mouth shut, nod, be happy, don't ruin this for them,it's better this way,just do it.

And remember to smile.