Hard to put into words

I've had to come to grips with many things over the past year. First realizing I had to leave my job because of my disease, then my husband leaving me because he didn't want to be married to someone who was sick.  As a result I had to sell my house, divorce, my whole life has changed.  None if these things were in my life plan.  I was a planner before all of this happened.  I had gone to college worked hard got a teaching job right out of school.  I worked for a year and a half then went for my masters degree while teaching. I don't want to sound like a saint, during this time I was living my life as a single 20 something in Boston having a blast.  I worked hard and still had a good time.  
My job brought me so much joy though.  I was a severe special education teacher and I absolutely loved my job.  When I talked about my job I lit up.  My kids could be challenging, more than you can imagine, but I absolutely adored them. As of right now I'm unable to return to teaching.
Fast forward to today I am officially divorced, which is a good thing, who wants to be married to someone who would leave you when you need them the most?  We have been separated for a year, and divorced for about 7 months.  My life is so different than what I originally planned it's almost like a dream.  
I went from being this driven goal oriented girl in career and life to having everything crash around me.  I feel like I don't even know where to begin to pick up the pieces.  I can't even imagine how I could become appealing to someone again.  I feel like I went from being a great catch, to being a hot mess.