Hard month

I just can't believe what a hard time i am having these past few weeks. I am really having a hard time me. Just thinking that last year this time, I was with my mother, we were having lunches and laughing and now it's this year and she's not hear.  Went to church yesterday for palm sunday. I cried the whole time, took some palm to the cemetary and just am feeling really alone.  I just miss her so much and miss having someone tell me it's all going to be alright. I wish she would visit me in my dreams and give me a hug.  I am so missing that, who am I kidding i miss everything.  I guess I am very anxious lately, feeling that I could burst into tears at any moment. Hard to listen to the radio again, hard to even talk to her, b/c I just end up crying and thinking how sad i am.   I find it hard to talk to my friends, even tho they are understanding, I think they must be so sick of hearing me say that I am sad and how hard it is without her.  My dad has been keeping himself busy, and I know he is hurting without her, but he has never been one to talk about things, so I don't want to bring him down with how I am feeling.  My sisters are there, but they are feeling it too, it's just hard.  and I feel like a broken record.  I am making cornbeef and cabbage today for St Patty's day..... bringing a little irish into my italian house.  I love it.  They are getting back to school now, and I have to play with them now.  Thanks for listening. Happy st patty's day!!