Hard Decision

I love Geo. He has changed my life for the better. With him by my side, I have made huge strides in healing from my painful past. But, he has changed along with me- but not for the better. I remember being able to talk to him and cry on his shoulder. A couple weeks ago, he got mad at me because I run to a friend when I'm feeling bad and not to him. A couple days after that, I had a really hard day and was really down. I didn't call my friend, and walked home to talk to him. I started crying on him, sitting on the couch, and for a couple minutes he rubbed my shoulder. Then he told me to go to the room (alone) and calm down. My friend Andrea is great about giving me context and seeing his behavior- you know, at least he tried, rubbed my shoulder and tried to make me feel better- so he cares. But the BPD is telling me he abandoned me when I needed him. I was still crying when he dismissed me. He didn't even follow me to the room, just continued to play his video game. He didn't ask me later how I was doing. It hurt me, badly.
Then there's his food addiction. He gets mad at me because I have one thing in the house that I refuse to let him eat- my peppermint bark. Peppermint bark is my most favorite candy in the whole world, and you can only get it at Christmas. It doesn't matter that I have given him a bunch- he gets mad because he can't have it all. There is almost nothing in this house that is safe from him. I have been depriving myself of nutritional foods (like veggies) because we don't have the money to buy those, and the soda he drinks. He only drinks soda. No water at all. I have been living off of ramen, pasta, and peanut butter sandwiches. He has fresh deli meat to eat while I cry over buying a can of tuna for myself. I enable him- I deprive myself of good things so he can have his bad things. If I buy anything sweet, he will eat it without asking me. I specifically bought ice cream that he said he didn't like so I would have some, and he ate it anyway. I always buy 2 containers of ice cream- one for him, and one for me. He eats his within a couple days. I eat mine slowly... and then within a week after I buy it, he eats mine too. He *hates* coffee and gets mad when I buy coffee ice cream because it lasts in the freezer for months. And even then, he tries to eat it. He gets a couple spoonfuls of it, and puts it back. I know I can't expect logical behavior from an addict, but I'm getting tired of the disrespect and starving myself.
He is morbidly obese (550 pounds) and needs gastric bypass surgery to save his life. He needs to lose 50 pounds before the surgeon will operate. He refuses to give up soda, so he will never get the surgery, I realize that now. He is going to be in more and more physical pain as the years progress... and then die. I have stood by his side for 4 years, trying to help him and having him refuse. Every now and then he shows some signs of progress- lately he has been talking about taking Alli and trying to walk (he is physically disabled due to the weight, and walking is severely painful to him). This is the most progress I have seen in the 4 years, but I can't get my hopes up. The Alli is not going to work because he refuses to modify his diet. His body is so physically wrecked that even walking is not going to help him anymore. He has not changed in the almost 5 years we have been together, and I don't see him changing now.
What he needs is *good* therapy. Therapy for his depression, his food addiction, his hopelessness. He's on disability, so the therapists he has access to are just out of school and have no idea how to treat a person with the severity of his symptoms. We don't have money to see a good therapist (I do know one, but she charges $40 a session), so I don't know what to do. 
I understand a marriage is about give and take... I am willing to change what I need to for us to stay together... but I have to draw a line. His addiction is taking a physical and mental toll on me now. If worst comes to worst, I have enough frequent flyer miles to get home (Los Angeles) and a place to stay when I get there. Our lease is up in October, so I'm going to give him until then to make some progress. If not, well, I can't continue to live like this.