Hard day

I am having a very hard time today. Chris is constantly on my mind I miss him soooooo much. I feel so grouchy. My other son Steven was working today, he came by on his lunch to give me hugs. =) Yesterday his wife Dacey came by with the baby,  always a happy surprise,  we exchanged gifts & visited for most of the day. Today she went to spend the day with her mother, which she should.  It is her first mothers day, she is such a good mommy, and wife to my son.  But why am I so grouchy ??  I'm not a hallmark holiday person, I think birthdays & anniversary's are important.  The other day I said in front of my son Steven "mothers Day isn't a big day to me" he said "why, your no longer a mother" I said "yes I am, but everyday is mothers day to me" I felt bad as if he doesn't feel important. Oh but he is and I tell him all the time how much I love him.  YES I am rambling & I guess feeling sad. I'm so happy we have this site to ramble. I know you all understand ........ but, sorry  for you that you do.
And now I'm crying, my husband just said, "Happy mothers day,  I miss mister (we called Chris that) he would be over here with you" And he is right Chris was always there for me ...... I miss him so much ....... and again I am not a hallmark holiday  person but today i am so sad .... I guess cuz i know other mothers are spending time with their kids ...  Hope you all are having a pleasant day ! Happy Mothers Day !! HUGS !!