Happy Sweet treats tuesday! :) progress forward :) cheers to freedom journey :)

Happy sweet treats tuesday!!! :) iced green tea cheers! and special spring spirited smiles on this nice tuesday :) We're enjoying the day :) This morning, my mom, Lisa, Alyssa, and i enjoyed going over to mcdonalds and starbucks to get some treats :) it was so nice, and we saw some nice nature along the way :) seeing the nature, really is heart warming :) We had a nice nourishing rainfall last night, that i noticed this morning, and really was so good, and healthy, for the plants :) i opened our greenhouse today, and checking in on the sprouts, so cool, and neat to see the sprouts :) i'm doing well, enjoying some writing time, nature walks, looking forward to going to the post office tomorrow :) i've been having some good talks with my mom, friends, and here on ds too :) i'm making some more healing progress :) i've also been reading experiences other people have been through, similar to what i've been going through, the past 7 weeks. it's helped to give me some great insight, some encouragement, and guidance moving forward :) i think of that quote often, "when we are uprooted in life, we must return to our roots" :) it's been a journey so far, and still lots of healing to go, but i'm keeping strong, taking good care, and i want to continue to do my best :) i'm thankful to have wonderful family, friends, and DS in my life :) i've had so much time to think, reflect, and it's helping me too :) i'll share in my journal today, about the progress i'm making :) i'm going to treat myself to a movie night tonight :) looking forward to doing some more gardening too :)
Hi angel friends :) We hope everyoen is doing well, and enjoying a nice day :) it's a day of treats, writings, nature, and checking in, on our blossoming gardens :) it's really special, to see the spring time nature :) as the sun rised up and it got light this morning, i noticed we had recieved a nice nourishing rainfall overnight :) it was really good, for the lawns, plants, and trees :) We've needed some rain, we hadn't gotten any rainfall in a couple weeks. it's so nice to see, the nature after a good raining :) i went outside this morning, to check in on the plants, and put lots of goodies all around our yard, for the birds and squirrels :) They've been very happy, to enjoy the goodies :) our plants are doing so well, and i noticed the 3 sunflowers i transplanted into our gardens yesterday, have began to settle into their new growing spots now :) i even added some organic soil where i transplanted the sunflowers :) it always brings me a smile, to see sunflowers growing :)
This morning, my mom, Lisa, Alyssa, and i enjoyed our weekly trip out, to get some treats :) We went to mcdonalds, and starbucks :) i was enjoying the nature sights along the way :) at mcdonalds today, i got 2 breakfast burritos, and i also got an iced green tea at starbucks :) they even put my name on the starbucks cup :) i thought it was pretty cool :) we enjoyed our treats :) it's always a nice tradition :) we love to keep active with our days, going out :) my mom, Lisa, and i are thinking about going out soon, for some walks around our neighborhood :) We've been wanting to, and maybe tomorrow, we'll go out for a walk :) Lisa has the whole day off from work tomorrow too :) i've been having a good, balanced, and spirited writing week :) i'm writing cards, to mail tomorrow at the post office :) my writing area is all set up and decorated :) it's looking very spring festive :) sunflowers, butterflies, and spirit of the season :) It's gonna be nice going out to the post office tomorrow, i'll bring my camera, just incase i get a chance to take some pictures of the peaceful pond :)
HEALING PROGRESS, UPDATES :) Hi angel friends, i wanted to do some writing in my journal today, about some progress i've been making, with my healing journey. everyone close to me knows, that 7 weeks ago, my life changed dramatically, and suddenly with a breakup, but also, with the breakup, came the loss of a deep friendship my ex and i shared. in recent days, and week, i've been mentioning about my mom and i having some deep talks, and i've also had some deep talks with friends on the phone too, writing to friends here on ds, and also joining in the discussions/topics on the breakups group here on ds. everyone has been helping me so much, and helping me, to heal, the most healthy, and best way i can. at times, you may have seen my smiley face on my page, turn to orange, or red. that's my heart taking time, to heal, and letting tears flow, when i have those moments. my ex, she and i were close, deeply, for over 5 years, and when you are so close to someone like that, and really believed, she and i would be together always, it can take some time, to reflect, to let emotions, feelings flow, through writings, and talks. i usually can be shy, or can tend to bottle things up/emotions in my thoughts, but i know with this situation, and experience, it truly is the best way, by expressing my feelings, and emotions, through writings, positive activities, like nature, gardening, and talking with family, friends, and the group here on ds.
i've made some good, positive progress going forward. :) i sometimes am in the mood to talk about things, and somedays, i seem quite busy, and notice, some days are easier than others. i truly went on a rollercoaster ride, and a whole journey with my ex, and i can honestly say, i gave it my all. the way things ended, with the relationship, have been the most hardest thing for me to come to terms with, and to try to make sense of. what's been hard, is going from, so close one day, and then that march 27th, the sudden ending of everything. lots of thoughts, feelings, emotions come up inside my heart and spirit, and i've needed to talk, i've needed to share. i know what my ex did, with the sudden abandonment, is cold and cruel of her, and i didn't deserve it. no one does. my mom is my mentor, and has always been there for me. i've had some really deep emotional talks with her, and she's been so caring, just like everyone else. i've been reminding myself, that with what my ex did to me, with not explaining why, i've reminded myself often, that that is such an abrupt way, she ended things with the relationship, that i must not let it ruin my happy times, and that i can't dwell on this sudden loss forever. i've been taking good, positive grieving steps. i've done some intense studying online, about my ex's mental health issues she has, and i've read many experiences, that other people have had, in their lifetime, with the same type of sudden abandonment, i've experienced with my ex. it's comforting, and uplifting, to know, i'm not alone, and others have healed from this.
i've been dwelving myself into more active days. missing my ex less, and embracing more change, embracing the new path i am on now, in life. my mom, friends, and others have told me, i don't need my ex, to be happy. when the breakup first happened, those weeks, i felt numb, and i still do feel a bit numb, from what she did, so suddenly. i've felt sad too, because of the positive energy she cut out of her life, when she abandoned not only me, but my mom, family, and friends who have cared about her. 3 weeks ago, i was seriously considering, maybe talking to a doctor, or therapist, to help me cope, with the extreme loss of so much, that she and i shared. my mom talked with me about it, and she said, i can talk with her, anytime, and friends too, have told me i can call them.it's helped me a great deal, in coping, and i feel stronger. i feel like, i can overcome this loss, and grieve it fully. i've told my mom, and everyone, i wish there was a reason, so that this all could be understable, but there was no reason, things were good, between her and i, and we were very close. closure is something, everyone deserves in a situation, but for this experience with my ex, she gave no closure, with not explaining, and giving no reason. that's been the hard part about things. sometimes, even the most nicest people, can have awful things happen to them. the emotional rollercoaster ride my ex took me on, especially the 6 months leading up to the breakup, i had extreme stress, anxiety, and not being able to focus fully, because i was so dedicated, and wanting to help her, and i did, with all that i had, and she still just up and abandoned me, like i was an empty soda bottle, and felt like it was my heart and spirit she stepped on. i've been wanting to move on, and find some closure, and letting my heart take all the healthy steps, to healing :)
Yesterday, i made a phone call. not to my ex, but to her brother. he lives in a different state than her. often, she wouldn't tell him things, her struggles, kinda keeping him the dark about things. he knows, she deals with mental health illness, and i had some things, i wanted to say to him, and wanted to ask. i would like to share, what i posted in the breakups group here on ds, and how the talk with her brother, helped me, to be able to accept moving on. :) here's what i posted about the talk.
"hi, i hope everyone is doing ok, and holding on strong. i spent lots of time in our garden today, working in the garden, just me, the sunshine, the sounds of birds, my thoughts, about the past almost 7 weeks now, since my ex broke up with me suddenly. sometimes, the things that bring us the most peace, we gotta spend time with that, and it really can give our thoughts, and feelings a chance to reflect, to think, to become more clear, about things.
i haven't contacted my ex, through text/phone/email, since march 27th. i did write a letter about 4 weeks ago, but that was it. lately, i feel like there's been lots of heaviness on my heart, shoulders, and spirit. i had a talk with my mom earlier, i told her, i got these feelings, that i should call my ex's brother (he lives in a different state). i didn't want to call, to keep the door open for her and i to reconnect, i was calling, because i feel i deserve something to hold onto, for some closure. You know, when my ex broke up with me, things were good between her and i, and she suddenly broke up with me, with no explanation, gave no reason. that is one of the coldest and cruelest ways to break up with someone. i wanted to call her brother today, i had called him that march 27th day, but hadn't since. i just wanted to tell him some things. i know no contact is very important, but i had a feeling i should call. i didn't want a year, or 2 go by, and regretting that i didn't at least call him, to tell him some things, to see what he said.
This afternoon (yesterday), i called my ex's brother. i was polite, introduced myself again. i just asked for 5 or 10 minutes of his time. i asked him, if she was ok. he said, she is. i told him some things i wanted to say, about how shocked my mom, family, and i, were, that she cut us out of her life, for no reason, and no explanation. he listened to me. he said she told him, that she tried to explain to me, even though she didn't. she said she wanted to be "good friends", but didn't talk about anything, that day, and i told her brother, i said, i wouldn't have given up on friendship. i would have tried my best, and wanted to be her friend still, even if she didn't want to be in a relationship anymore, friendship should be given a chance, but she didn't. i mentioned some memories, and some things that she said that week, including the day before the breakup, she said, C+H, and she loves me, and she told me i have her heart, forever.
Her brother told me, he said, "we know, she has that mental illness" (bipolar, depression, mood disorder). when he said that, it just felt like, this weight, was coming off, of my heart, my spirit, my shoulders. i know, that how she's treated me, with just abandoning us, out of nowhere, is still a bad thing, but just hearing her brother say, about how he, and their family, know she deals with mental illness, it kinda gave this ground for closure more.
i've wanted closure, i really have, and with the way she ended things with our relationship, there was nothing to hold onto, for closure. now, since i talked with her brother this afternoon, i have this feeling, that, it's like, that woman (my ex), i fell in love with, back in 2011, she's not the same person, and whatever path she's on now, in her life, with whatever she's coping with, dealing with, that's the path she has gone on, and didn't want to take me along anymore. i do miss her, i have love in my heart for her, but we can't change people, we truly can't, and with what she's coping with, even if it's her mental illness that made her do this to me, abandoning me like she did, it's still no excuse, but, i can find more peace now, i can start to build up more inner strength, to gain more closure now.
i'm thankful i called her brother. he listened, and that's what i wanted, i wanted to speak. i told him, i don't have a reason to text/call/email her, and i don't feel like i have to call him again, i said, i feel deep sadness about how she's not in my life anymore, but part of me, is relieved more now, that i did call my ex's brother today. it took a lot of courage for me to do that. i'm a shy person, i have social anxiety. i was afraid when i called, he would just hang up on me, but he didn't, and listened. right now, you know, i feel like, i can move on a bit more, even though i have a long healing journey ahead of me, i feel like, i at least said what i needed to say, and can get more closure now, and more understanding, that the woman i loved, she's not that same person anymore. it's sad, to my heart, that it's the truth, and i have to go on now, i have to move on in life, and i know there will be days, where i'm still sad, tears will flow, but i got at least a little something now, that can give me a little more closure, it's something i haven't had, for over 6 weeks. i can begin more, to allow my heart, and spirit to heal. i know, 5 years of being close with her, and us having an amazing connection, i know it'll be a while, before i can look back, and see it, as a time when she and i crossed paths in this garden of life. her spirit will be with me from time to time, maybe a visit to my dreams, but will someday, be a distant memory of a time, i tried so hard, and loved a woman, with all of my heart. i'm thankful for my family, friends, DS, everyone who's been here for me, and i want you to know, i'm here for you too. it's brought me great insight, and comfort, to be able to communicate with friends, members here, and to be able to get a better understanding about things. my best wishes, wishing us all, peace."
i've done some amazingly positive things/changes to my days, and my life, since late march. its not been easy, but i've adapted more, to watching movies on my own. i've kept up with our beautiful family of friends, all around the world, who keep me motivated :) i have kept up with my writings, my goals, and i have dreams, to continue to make progress :) i've began a new garden with my family, and it's like, a whole new garden in my heart too, that will grow. i will continue to grow in this garden of life, and will blossom more :) my self esteem, was very low after the breakup, but has gotten better. i feel more at peace, and relaxed, and less on edge now about things. i stuck with my ex, through thick and thin, no matter what, and i really did give my all, to her, and not enough, for myself. i didn't put enough into myself, those years she and i were together. i haven't been tired, i have been more energized. i feel like, my whole self, is healing more now, and feeling more whole. i feel like, i'm getting back to my roots, in life, after all i went through, with my ex. of course i was balanced with her, at times, but in the past 6 months, it was a rollercoaster ride, and i was missig out, on peacefulness within myself. i have times now, where i look out, my new window here, i see the birds, our dogwood tree, that was in danger of falling during heavy winds, in 2012, and it healed, and it blossomed again. it gives me hope, that i too, will continue to blossom into new times :) Thank you for reading :)
we're having a nice tuesday :) my family and i are doing well :) today for lunch, i had 2 baked tortilla wraps, and i also had, some cabbage soup :) lunch was delicious :) i've enjoyed some nature walks today, and i've also been finishing up a good writing week :) i'm looking forward, to many more good days, continued healing, and being strong, getting stronger, and embracing my new journey in life, i have to share, with family and friends :) i'm healing myself, both emotionally, and physically, with eating better, exercising, and healing the healthy way :) Thank you angel friends, so very much, for all that you do, for my family and i :) We appreciate you all, and we care deeply about you all, we'll always be here for you :) BIG GROUP FRIENDSHIP HUG :) Tonight, i'm going to treat myself to a movie night :) There's many more good times to look forward too, with family, friends, and nature :)
-never lose hope :)
To Wildthing, Peaceful Gentle Moments of the day :) Wildthing, we enjoyed getting some treats today, and enjoying some sunshine, after a good raining overnight :) finishing up a good writing week :) Thinking of you, our dear friend :)
my mom says hello :) She says, "i hope everyone is having a really good day" :) awww! :) We love you all very much, our sweet dear friends :) We hope everyone is doing well, and enjoying a nice day :) We think of you all often :) wishing us all, the best of good health, happiness, and peace :)
We've got lots of great growing, sprouting going on, in our yard and gardens :) it's awesome to see it all :) it's pure refreshing, and enjoyable :)
Our garden greenhouse sprouts, are growing :) beginning their incredible journey's :) We've got sunflowers, cucumbers, pumpkins, and corn sprouts :)




We've got pears, apples, and peaches, beginning to grow :) i took some pictures of the tiny little fruit that's just began to grow :)
Pears :)
Apples :)
Peaches :)
our grapevines, and raspberry bushes are doing so well :)flourishing with the spirit of spring time :)

my writing area! :) i've been enjoying a really nice writing week :) i love decorating my writing area, dwelving into some nice writings :) it's one of my favorite joys :) it's a special dedication, to my family and friends :) my writing area is a peaceful sanctuary :) my mom and i are looking forward to going to the post office tomorrow :) Sending lots and lots of love, and happy friendship smiles across the miles, from our hearts, and home to yours :)
Happy sweet treats tuesday! :) We enjoyed going out to get some nice treats today, at mcdonalds, and starbucks :) These wholesome traditions, are very special to us :) cheers! to family, friends, nature, healing, sweet treats tuesday, and to enjoying the wonderful simple joys in life :)