Happy New Year

I'm writing this and I am feeling so sad. All my husband and I do is fight. When I went to type "year" in it kept autocorrecting to tear and if that isn't the truth. I don't want to get into our issues because that's a day for another journal post I just need to write and get my feelings out before I go downstairs to see my son and dad. It's always something, at this point I really want to give up and end things, but does that make me weak? Or do I continue to stay in a relationship where I just cry and feel bad. I mean don't get me wrong we have our good times but lately it's getting harder and harder. 

I never wanted to have a divorce because my parents had one and I feel like that put such a tole on me. Most days I want to lay under a rock and not come out and today especially today. 

random ending thought: I told my dad I heard journaling when you're feeling anxious helps. He tells me it's scientifically proven that if I read the Bible 15 minutes a day I'll be cured.

i think the arguing between my husband and I make things worse for my anxiety. I hope one day I'll wake up and not feel like this. 

xoxo,

not feeling so hopeful today