Happy Holidays, Not This Year!!

Well, Chistmas is barely over a month away and usually I love this time of year. This year however, I am distraught. I barely have anything to give my children and I'm not sure I will be able to get them anything else. I can barely pay the bills and buy groceries. Other than a few odds and ends I haven't been grocery shopping in over a month. My husband told me last week that as of this Friday he could be laid off. I'm not sure if that would help or hurt us at the moment. If he is laid off we might actually get some help.Who knows?!? I hate the idea of disappointing my kids on Christmas but I'm not sure there is anything more I can do. I can't squeeze any money from anywhere. I have to pay the bills and try to keep food on the table for them. No one seems to notice that I am barely eating trying to save food for everyone else. I'm heavy anyhow so it will help me with the weight loss. I'v called about all the programs that are suppose to help and either we make too much or there is a waiting list. My one girl friend picked up a few things for my oldest since I had a couple of things for the younger two. I want to be able to enjoy this time of year but I just don't have it in me. I keep praying for things to get better and for some ideas. I just want my kids to have a good Christmas. They only get new things at Christmas and their Birthdays and they deserve to enjoy the Holiday. I am gonna miss seeing their faces light up when they open something special. They are great kids who don't get any extra stuff during the year and they know that Christmas is the one time when they get to really enjoy their surprises. I just need a miracle! Thanks for letting me whine here. I try not to let anyone see just how bad things are for us and it's nice to have a place to go where I can really open up.