Happy Friday?
The insomnia still is affecting me. I will try and switch to decaf after my first morning cup. My roommate has been working nights so I haven't seen him for a week and it's just as well because we don't have what I would call a normal relationship anyway. My Instacart card came but as I logged onto the app I noticed there were no hours available to work...so much for that gig. I'll have to find something else. Still obsessing over my friend I cut ties with. Don't know why, he's not worth it and the circumstances never really came together as I was living with someone and he was in the process of relocating. Ive said it time and time again, NOTHING JUST HAPPENS. On the way to work this morning I was already thinking about having wine at the bar tonight and quickly squashed that idea. I'm going to figure out what I would do with that money and spend it on something else. Try as I might I wanted to use the insomnia as a way to get to the gym, but after not having a good night's sleep for a week now, I don't have the energy.
Ive decided just to turn everything over to the universe and stop trying to make things I want happen. I feel the harder I try, the harder it is and right now I'm just to tired. I don't know what I'm going to do this weekend. Weekends are so hard for me.
On another irritating note, my new pet peeve, co-workers who wear flip flops to the office and make sure we hear them flipping down the hall constantly. UGGGG
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That's what I do is turn my future over to the universe. When I didn't get what I wanted, I got something better instead! Always and most of the time within a few days...sometimes longer and sometimes within a few hours.. It is on their time, not ours and that's ok because I have never been disappointed.
If something annoys me, I always ask myself, "Why?" What is it triggering inside of me that angers me about the noise from flip flops Am I really angry that I am not allowed to dress comfortably and others can? Or it could be something else. I always take the time to find the reasons for my innermost thoughts and feelings because by bringing them to the surface where I can see them, then I can heal them but they must be looked at before they can be healed and there is a reason for that. They are emotions that need to be acknowledged, before they can be healed otherwise, they will keep coming up and the next time will be a little worse then the previous. To heal, we feel that emotion and then forgive it. Alot of psychotherapy like EMDR for example is based on the same premise which is making the unknown known which is the only way to heal it. But they don't call it what I call it, they just know it works which is why it is used extensevly.
That's how the universe works.
God Bless
Your absolutely right about the triggering anger. I've had a lot of trouble with this person and I think its just another thing that triggers that anger. It's getting easier to forget my troubles. I've been listening to law of attraction subliminals while I sleep. Thomas Hall on Youtube has some good ones. Some sound like rain while others are crickets at night. I will even listen to them at work sometimes just to drown the noise out. I knew I was getting better because I actually listened to music this morning in the car rather than tarot card readings.
I didn't feel the need to know the future :)