Happy anniversary, now go get your progesterone shot ready!

Yesterday was my and DH's four year anniversary.  How did we celebrate?  With me crying during my progesterone in oil shot! 
Actually, I had to work late and it was DH's golf league night, so instead I got a pedicure with one of my bridesmaids (see, the anniversary was tied in there).  It was relaxing, which I needed, considering the dreaded shot was coming once DH got home.  After my Tuesday journal entry, the nurse called and said my numbers had dropped below where they wanted to see them, and it was time to do PIO shots daily, as well as up the Estrace to 3x a day (in addition to the lovely Crinone gel).  The PIO shots are getting more painful considering both sides are super sore and getting lumpy.  You can only move spots so much...
In all seriousness, we are spending the weekend with my inlaws at their cottage (not exactly stressfree but...) so we decided we'll celebrate our anniversary with dinner out on Monday.  And DH did give me a beautiful card, appropriate with "we'll look back at this crazy time in our lives and laugh some day..."
Dealing with everything in an IVF cycle is stressful enough.  Several weeks ago one of my cats died suddenly, right in the midst of stims.  This week we got the results back on my grandma (who lives with my mom/stepdad and looked very yellow two weeks ago).  She has pancreatic cancer, lesions on her lungs, and an aortic aneurism.  They recommend hospice as she won't survive chemo or surgery and its taking over her body quickly.  Just before we noticed she was yellow, she was fine, and now she's dying.  After the news of my grandma, DH told me I needed to "snap out of it" because being upset isn't helping.  He just doesn't get it.  Sometimes I feel strong, but lately the challenges have been difficult to overcome.  Individually, I could handle all of these things on their own.  But collectively I am really struggling not to totally break down.  I have one more week to go in our wait for our first beta.  I am trying to remain positive in the midst of what seems like the worst hand I've been dealt in a long, long time.  I know I need to be strong for my growing babies--but I'm also human and I'm not sure that I can handle much more at this point.  If the nurse calls back today after my AM bloodwork and says to add PIO twice a day, I might just lose it completely!
I am doing my best to remain as optimistic as possible as well as focus on how I can help my parents and my grandmother in this difficult time.  Besides praying to God multiple times a day, I have discovered that St. Gerard is the patron saint of mothers/those desiring motherhood so I also pray to him now too to intercede on my behalf with my two babies.  It makes me feel better and I'll take anything right now for that!  God is great...