Happy Anniversary!
Happy anniversary honey--
In my heart of hearts, I realize there is no other man for me but you. We shared so much of our lives together, 38 years in all, how could I not feel that way? Our special jokes, secrets, and dreams. After all those years we reached a level of being in sync, where you said you knew me like a book and I knew what you were thinking or the words that would come out of your mouth before you spoke them.
I wish those around me could understand how I view the world, our life together, and my future. But, out of no fault of their own, they can't.
We spoke of waht each would do if the other passed. It was no surprise that we were both on the same page. Our private life, our business.
I promised I would wait for you. I promised I would always be your wife. And I promised I would always be Mrs X. And, yes, that's a promise.
I often think of what you would be doing if I passed first. The only vision I can see is exactly what I am. However, you would have continued to deteriorate, possibly abuse alcohol or begin smoking again, because there would be no care to rejoin the world without me in it.
I know neither one of us wanted the sentence we were handed. You didn't want to die out of your love for me. I didn't want you to go either. For a person of control, it is horrible to watch someone you love with all your heart deteriorate from a monstrous disease, and not be able to do anythiing about it.
I am building a life of my own, but a life "I" want. Not what you possibly want for me, not what anyone else believes I should have. I had the most wonderful man in all the world and a beautiful marriage. There is no reason nor desire for me to seek another.
My body was given back to me when you died. It will belong to no other.
I look forward to the day when we are together again, but no one can accuse me of pining and wasting my life away either. You have seen my accomplishments. New friends, a new pet, continuing the renovations to our home that we planned. Yes, "our" home. It was always our home, and needn't just be my home because you are not here. It is my sanctuary, a place I love and can escape from everyone and everything. It has also become Moochie's home.
I have done a little traveling, reinvested well, taken out long term care insurance, and started my own part-time business. I can't say I am lonely, nor am I alone. You have owed up to the necklace you bought me, inscribed "I will always be at your side". I know you are for I have felt your presence every day 24/7 since you took your last breath with me at your side.
We have a long history together love muffin, and it is a history that I don't wish to repeat or make new with another. I am happy just the way things are until we can dance through the clouds of heaven.
If you ever get upset because I cry, or think I need things I have told you I do not, talk to Mom. Let her tell you what it is like to lose the love of your life, your companion, your soul mate. Let her tell you that her daughter is OK, because her daughter is just like her.
You and God have made sure I had a new pet, united or reunited with good friends, and became closer to our family. Now, please, with God, make sure that you both respect what I desire now and allow me to be at peace, happy on my own, and become once more the independent woman you always admired in me.
I love my anniversary band. Didn't plan to buy one, but something kept telling me to. You always wanted me to have nice things, so I know it was you.
Today there is a lot of sadness, heartbreak, and tears. Tears because I can't see you, touch you, feel you, smell you, or hear your voice. You won't be calling me to sing, we won't be dancing in the living room, and I won't receive another beautiful card with words that can only come from your heart. But, I still have you and you still have me. We have a bond no one can break, ever.
I love you with all my heart. I am truly blessed to have met you when I did, and doubly blessed that out of all the girls you had dated in your lifetime, you chose me to be your life mate. Mates in life and mates in death.
Debbie
In my heart of hearts, I realize there is no other man for me but you. We shared so much of our lives together, 38 years in all, how could I not feel that way? Our special jokes, secrets, and dreams. After all those years we reached a level of being in sync, where you said you knew me like a book and I knew what you were thinking or the words that would come out of your mouth before you spoke them.
I wish those around me could understand how I view the world, our life together, and my future. But, out of no fault of their own, they can't.
We spoke of waht each would do if the other passed. It was no surprise that we were both on the same page. Our private life, our business.
I promised I would wait for you. I promised I would always be your wife. And I promised I would always be Mrs X. And, yes, that's a promise.
I often think of what you would be doing if I passed first. The only vision I can see is exactly what I am. However, you would have continued to deteriorate, possibly abuse alcohol or begin smoking again, because there would be no care to rejoin the world without me in it.
I know neither one of us wanted the sentence we were handed. You didn't want to die out of your love for me. I didn't want you to go either. For a person of control, it is horrible to watch someone you love with all your heart deteriorate from a monstrous disease, and not be able to do anythiing about it.
I am building a life of my own, but a life "I" want. Not what you possibly want for me, not what anyone else believes I should have. I had the most wonderful man in all the world and a beautiful marriage. There is no reason nor desire for me to seek another.
My body was given back to me when you died. It will belong to no other.
I look forward to the day when we are together again, but no one can accuse me of pining and wasting my life away either. You have seen my accomplishments. New friends, a new pet, continuing the renovations to our home that we planned. Yes, "our" home. It was always our home, and needn't just be my home because you are not here. It is my sanctuary, a place I love and can escape from everyone and everything. It has also become Moochie's home.
I have done a little traveling, reinvested well, taken out long term care insurance, and started my own part-time business. I can't say I am lonely, nor am I alone. You have owed up to the necklace you bought me, inscribed "I will always be at your side". I know you are for I have felt your presence every day 24/7 since you took your last breath with me at your side.
We have a long history together love muffin, and it is a history that I don't wish to repeat or make new with another. I am happy just the way things are until we can dance through the clouds of heaven.
If you ever get upset because I cry, or think I need things I have told you I do not, talk to Mom. Let her tell you what it is like to lose the love of your life, your companion, your soul mate. Let her tell you that her daughter is OK, because her daughter is just like her.
You and God have made sure I had a new pet, united or reunited with good friends, and became closer to our family. Now, please, with God, make sure that you both respect what I desire now and allow me to be at peace, happy on my own, and become once more the independent woman you always admired in me.
I love my anniversary band. Didn't plan to buy one, but something kept telling me to. You always wanted me to have nice things, so I know it was you.
Today there is a lot of sadness, heartbreak, and tears. Tears because I can't see you, touch you, feel you, smell you, or hear your voice. You won't be calling me to sing, we won't be dancing in the living room, and I won't receive another beautiful card with words that can only come from your heart. But, I still have you and you still have me. We have a bond no one can break, ever.
I love you with all my heart. I am truly blessed to have met you when I did, and doubly blessed that out of all the girls you had dated in your lifetime, you chose me to be your life mate. Mates in life and mates in death.
Debbie
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