Hanging by a thread

Where to start?!  I'm about to lose my wife of 11 years.  We have an 11 year old daughter together.  Long story short, we each fall short in certain parts of our marriage that negatively feed off each other.  The problem is I accept her issues, but she doesn't accept mine.  I stop (not completely) helping around the house because she stops being even remotely intimate (backrubs, massage, back scratches) and vice versa.  This is the third time we've confronted this problem, but only because she bottles it up until it becomes too much for her.  Now she is telling me she is checked out and is almost at the point of a divorce.  NOW, every attempt I make to help around the house or try to better our relationship she sees it as a negative thing, creating a bigger issue for her.  Any effort I out forth frustrates her and makes her more mad.  Things are very tense right now.  We are seeing a counselor, but she seems to be very checked out.  We just discussed me leaving the house for a while to see if removing myself from the tense situation will help her to be able to put some positive energy into fixing our marriage.  I don't want to lose her and our family at all, and the very thought of it scares me to the core.  I'm emotionally drained and my heart breaks more and more with each passing day, but I'm still fighting to make this work.  THIS SUCKS SO BAD!