Handling stress...
Thursday morning...today I'm 85 days GF....looking forward to the 90 day mark....I know, it's only a number, but there was a time when 90 days seemed impossible. I've had a lot of stress at work for the last 2 days, and there was a time when I would have medicated this kind of stress with heading right to the casino and staying there until exhausted. I'm happy that I didn't have to do that. I never have to lose myself in gambling again. Instead, I talked to my Mom on the phone, hung out with the BF who was in a better mood, did some singing....LOL....I went through a drive-through for a soda on the way home, same place I went a couple of weeks ago, and the drive-through person asked me why I wasn't singing this time....she remembered me singing in the car while I was waiting for my food last time....blush blush....she asked me if I was a singing teacher....I had to laugh, though! She told me I sounded good- it's nice to get a compliment, even when you're embarrassed.....I didn't realize they could hear you in there, it always seems they can't hear when you place your order.....LOL...now I know....so, anyway, last night, I "lost" myself in a good book instead of a machine of mass destruction... I've got a tense situation to deal with at work, so I'm a bit anxious today....but at least I didn't make my situation worse by how I dealt with it last night. For that, I am most thankful. Thanks to all my friends here....it helps to have your comments and support....it helps not to feel alone with my struggle to survive this addiction.....Love you all....
Replies
Love you too, Sweetie :)
85 days, yeah it\'s a number, but I count, too. I know the last time I went through this (3-4 yrs ago) I stopped counting after a few months cos\' guess what? Yeah, I thought I was cured! Wrong! Way wrong! It got me again... I know it didn\'t get me just cos\' I stopped counting my days, I had 3-4 yrs of abstinence, it got me cos\' I convinced myself I could gamble like \"normal\" people, I can\'t, and I don\'t want to. My life. I\'m not even working right now, my guy keeps telling me I don\'t have to. How would I deal with the stress of a job, I keep wondering? The more I dwell on this the harder it seems to get back out there. Oh, poor me, huh? I\'m learning to be grateful for every little thing I have, I believe I\'ll get a job when the time is right. Oh wow...that\'s an easy thing to believe! I\'m just being kinda\' silly right now.... Singing through the drive through... I hum. I mean I really hum. Usually I\'m totally unaware I\'m doing it. And it has caused me embarrassment many, many times! In school during tests the teacher would have to kindly tell me I was humming! One time at work a girl thought someone was vacuuming in a different part of the building! I can\'t sing...I mean I do sing sometimes, but I\'ve been told I can\'t carry a tune and that I\'m tone deft! But I hum, sometimes a tune, sometimes like a machine! Compulsive hummer here! lol If the drive through lady thought you were a singing teacher you must be good :) Sometimes I dance in the living room...& I\'m not good at that either! lol I sure hope your tense situation at work turns out to be no big deal, sometimes tense situations end up like that. Take care, Love, Robin
85 Days...YOU GO GIRL! Way to handle your stress and find other things to do. You are being very strong, I\'m sure you can handle your situation at work...good luck with it! I\'ll be thinking of you! Luv ya!
85 days is an amazing accomplishment. You should be so proud. More so you should be proud of you. You have guts and determination and not only can you do this you are! I love the way you think - your head space sounds so like my own. Yes gambling for us is like playing with fire - no matter what we will eventually get burned. I can never gable again - not cured but am free. Thank you for being there. - hugs for today Suzi
Gosh, you are doing so great! Keep up the good work.
When I first starting JE, I started (or ended) the je with \"xx days GF), it was a daily reminder of my goal and accomplishment. I think it help me quite a bit, I stopped counting when I hit the 100th gf day.
Alright Dianne, we may have an \"american idol\" on DS, so you are going to have to up load a video of yourself singing and all your friends here on DS will be the judge...fun! LOL
Stay strong!
Hugs,
Liz
you sound wonderful.
funny how....some things can still be so difficult...stressful...but..so MANY things turn around SO quickly once we break free....or maybe..it has to do with a shift in our attitude?? or both??
in any event....you just keep it up...life is good...even my worst day now is better than my best day in the cycle.
:)
Hi Dianne, 85 days GF...Unbelievable!! What is your stress at work all about! Whatever it is ...Don\'t stress....have faith and keep doing right...God will work it out for you. and....like I always tell you....if you need help...let me know...I will do anything to keep a butterfly flying!!! Ian : )
It is good to hear that you have learned to use new avenues to destress!! Stress was always a trigger for me and continues to be. I have learned to identify it though and that was a big step.. 85 Days is such an incredible milestone - as I write this.. you are almost to 90! Congratulations and keep up the good work and the singing and dancing!
I loved Robin\'s comment to your je. She is right on about that. I will keep counting. It is like my daily reminder and part of my affirmation. I applaud your days and your determination. I am approaching 60 days, and sure enough, I\'m counting and looking forward to it. Each step I take away from gambling, I take a step forward to living my life again. I appreciate your support and you openness in journals and comments. I am proud that you are singing again and that your BF situation is a little better. Maybe work will pick up and get better too. I had to really start putting in a lot of prayer (sometimes 20-30 minutes at a time, pretty hard when you are teaching.) for all the things I need changed in my life. I will add you to my list. I try to pray for a lot of people. I usually do it right then and there, so I don\'t forget but I am adding names to my prayers from DS daily. You are on the list, so is Suzi, Nikki, and a few others that I interact with on a daily basis. Yall are my moo goo gai pan.
Light up the darkness,
chris
You are doing great and positive things. I love that you are dealing with tension out in the open and not behind a machine. Facing things and dealing with them - makes us stronger. I love also that you are singing and dancing -- life is to be celebrated and you are doing it right. Blessings
I love how you write about the little things you do that keep you pushing forward. It\'s so true about the small things...they are what helps you learn that you are living again. I don\'t really have much to do today, but I got up, got dressed, all made up, and it made me feel great. Not to get ready for the day, but to feel good about taking pleasure in the process and look forward to whatever it is to come. That\'s awesome about singing in the drive thru!