Halfway!!
So with the new year came the halfway mark in deployment and let me tell you, I'm happy! Ok, I am happy and nervous. I still have four months to go (and that's if all goes well with no delays, etc) so that's a fairly long time. And I'm glad to have made it this far without losing my mind but the closer it gets the more nervous I get about hubby coming home. I have the usual fears I guess: what if he doesn't like me anymore? What if he's different? What if intimacy is an issue? There are tons of other things rolling around in my head.
The really good thing is that in the past four months I have managed to lose around 5-6 lbs. I know, that doesn't seem like much at all in that time frame but my PCP told me all things considered, with my medical condition and all the medication that's actually pretty good. And I told him that after trying to hard before to lose some weight and not being successful, now that I have lost some I am more positive and can keep better focused on losing more. I don't even want to lose a ton, just maybe another 5 lbs. or so before my husband gets home. The other good thing is that if I can't manage that my husband told me it doesn't matter, that he will still love me and he'll always love the way I look :) My doctor reports have been ok too, though my specialist raised my dose of Xifaxan from 400mg a day to 1100 mg a day and dang....let's just say that puts me in my own personal hell. No matter what I do diet wise and such my ammonia levels just won't get to where he wants them to be. I wish he had to take that stuff for a week....anyway, I have two appointments this month, one with the specialist and one with my PCP so I will see what happens then. And I need another MRI at Walter Reed as soon as hubby gets home (what a way to celebrate homecoming).
For now I'm happy trying to write a few new poems for my husband and have been doing some good reading as well as getting to the gym and taking care of myself and feeling positive. I think the new year is starting off pretty ok so far!
Hugs and prayers.....CA
The really good thing is that in the past four months I have managed to lose around 5-6 lbs. I know, that doesn't seem like much at all in that time frame but my PCP told me all things considered, with my medical condition and all the medication that's actually pretty good. And I told him that after trying to hard before to lose some weight and not being successful, now that I have lost some I am more positive and can keep better focused on losing more. I don't even want to lose a ton, just maybe another 5 lbs. or so before my husband gets home. The other good thing is that if I can't manage that my husband told me it doesn't matter, that he will still love me and he'll always love the way I look :) My doctor reports have been ok too, though my specialist raised my dose of Xifaxan from 400mg a day to 1100 mg a day and dang....let's just say that puts me in my own personal hell. No matter what I do diet wise and such my ammonia levels just won't get to where he wants them to be. I wish he had to take that stuff for a week....anyway, I have two appointments this month, one with the specialist and one with my PCP so I will see what happens then. And I need another MRI at Walter Reed as soon as hubby gets home (what a way to celebrate homecoming).
For now I'm happy trying to write a few new poems for my husband and have been doing some good reading as well as getting to the gym and taking care of myself and feeling positive. I think the new year is starting off pretty ok so far!
Hugs and prayers.....CA
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