Hadn't written in a while...
Above, it's asking for a goal. Ha. How about getting through the holidays and keeping my friendships in tact?
Lately, the "missing him" has been making me act erratically. Sometimes I'm fine, laughing, enjoying life, and then BAM, someone says something or I see something that just makes me want to burst into tears - and sometimes I do. It's been so bad, that I've been dreaming that I've asked him to come back - and in the dream he does, betrays me all over again and then I have to kick him out. Let me tell you - those mornings I'm a little grumpy. Well, at least the tears are becoming less and less now.
Ok, so my current "adventure".... To keep the house when we separated in May, I had to take DRASTIC measures. I turned off the phone, cable and internet for the past 6 months, and I don't think I'll be doing that again! I live 900 miles away from any family, and limited minutes on the Trac phone (when it worked) sure didn't cut it. And the isolation made everything worse for me emotionally. Thank GOD for my friends keeping me smiling! But I do have to say that when you have no tv or internet, you DO get a lot of work done, lol.
Financially the past 6 months, I was still short $200 per month on my budget once we separated, but did some part time stuff at the house and earned just enough to get through! The divorce proceedings went VERY well, and I actually got money back from it! I was able to refinance the house into a loan with HALF the interest I was paying before, making my house payments affordable FINALLY. Once the refinancing was done, I decided to reconnect my phone - when I checked my budget (which I do a year out), I discovered that I actually had enough in it to hook up everything! YIPEE! Next up - to save anything I can for a back-up fund and MAYBE get my health insurance restarted (I know, this is scary but I don't have any choice right now - even if I disconnect everything again, I still don't have enough for it unless maybe if I quit eating and driving to work - which I have to do to pay for stuff - seriously - sucks when you get close to 50 years old).
Regarding "him"... we've had some minor incidents where he almost destroyed my credit when he went late on a joint loan payment in the middle of the refinancing. He was SUPPOSED to refinance this one as well. Luckily though, I discovered it before it hit the credit report and pushed him to take care of it before the grace period ended (which he did). And he did violate the court order regarding our joint account - he was supposed to close it so my name was off any accounts he was writing on, and when the bank told me to sign the papers making the "closure" official, I later discovered they LIED, and all they did was remove my ability to access the status of it. But, the attorney said IF he ends up doing anything bad with it (like writing a bad check with my name on it), I'm no longer responsible, so I've dropped it. He's also been trying to get even - refuses to have anything to do with our animals - which is fine with me - and has been telling our son (who we were estranged from for the past 6 years) stories about what supposedly happened to cause our breakup. But I've been greatly improving the situation with my son... we have become closer now than we have EVER been before, and I don't discuss the X unless my son asks. One day he did ask and I explained everything, including my actions in it (which I told him were an overreaction on my part), and told him where he could find proof of it (police reports) and he said he was going to discuss it with my X. Since he has, they haven't been talking, but that's no longer my business.
So back to the "adventure"... the house I call "the handyman house" (aka the money pit, lol). Just to get it ready for the appraisal, I had to redo the bathroom walls and floors (there were actually holes in the floor), back hall (hole in the wall), living room (cracks), living room ceiling (more cracks), and laundry room (another hole in the wall). I did work that I was expecting to do over the next 3 years, and did it in less than 3 months. WHEW. But, it was successful! The house was valued $60,000 MORE than in 2005! YAY! Though, I sometimes wonder if the vodka bottles the appraiser found in the attic helped the value at all - but nope, I'm gonna take all the credit for this one, lol (there were 20 bottles the X had hidden up there and one empty quart bottle hit the appraiser on the head when he opened the door)!
Then on Monday, I pulled the plug on the kitchen sink after doing dishes, and the sound that happened next wasn't supposed to be there.... the pipes had disconnected from the sink. What a mess. BUT, with all the home improvement projects I've been doing I immediately thought "COOL! I get to learn about the only thing I don't know about (plumbing)!" And then a friend walked in and said "Man, when it rains it pours... you must be so stressed", which I wasn't until she said that, lol. But, I'm still looking at it as a "learning challenge" and worst case scenario I can ask my plumber neighbor to help me with it, lol. But then again, my neighbor said last month "you're the only woman I know who hasn't asked me to help them fix something", which made me feel proud, so I'm going to give it a shot first, lol. So today, (I've been procrastinating and using a dish tub temporarily) I plan to FIX that sink!
Later!
Lately, the "missing him" has been making me act erratically. Sometimes I'm fine, laughing, enjoying life, and then BAM, someone says something or I see something that just makes me want to burst into tears - and sometimes I do. It's been so bad, that I've been dreaming that I've asked him to come back - and in the dream he does, betrays me all over again and then I have to kick him out. Let me tell you - those mornings I'm a little grumpy. Well, at least the tears are becoming less and less now.
Ok, so my current "adventure".... To keep the house when we separated in May, I had to take DRASTIC measures. I turned off the phone, cable and internet for the past 6 months, and I don't think I'll be doing that again! I live 900 miles away from any family, and limited minutes on the Trac phone (when it worked) sure didn't cut it. And the isolation made everything worse for me emotionally. Thank GOD for my friends keeping me smiling! But I do have to say that when you have no tv or internet, you DO get a lot of work done, lol.
Financially the past 6 months, I was still short $200 per month on my budget once we separated, but did some part time stuff at the house and earned just enough to get through! The divorce proceedings went VERY well, and I actually got money back from it! I was able to refinance the house into a loan with HALF the interest I was paying before, making my house payments affordable FINALLY. Once the refinancing was done, I decided to reconnect my phone - when I checked my budget (which I do a year out), I discovered that I actually had enough in it to hook up everything! YIPEE! Next up - to save anything I can for a back-up fund and MAYBE get my health insurance restarted (I know, this is scary but I don't have any choice right now - even if I disconnect everything again, I still don't have enough for it unless maybe if I quit eating and driving to work - which I have to do to pay for stuff - seriously - sucks when you get close to 50 years old).
Regarding "him"... we've had some minor incidents where he almost destroyed my credit when he went late on a joint loan payment in the middle of the refinancing. He was SUPPOSED to refinance this one as well. Luckily though, I discovered it before it hit the credit report and pushed him to take care of it before the grace period ended (which he did). And he did violate the court order regarding our joint account - he was supposed to close it so my name was off any accounts he was writing on, and when the bank told me to sign the papers making the "closure" official, I later discovered they LIED, and all they did was remove my ability to access the status of it. But, the attorney said IF he ends up doing anything bad with it (like writing a bad check with my name on it), I'm no longer responsible, so I've dropped it. He's also been trying to get even - refuses to have anything to do with our animals - which is fine with me - and has been telling our son (who we were estranged from for the past 6 years) stories about what supposedly happened to cause our breakup. But I've been greatly improving the situation with my son... we have become closer now than we have EVER been before, and I don't discuss the X unless my son asks. One day he did ask and I explained everything, including my actions in it (which I told him were an overreaction on my part), and told him where he could find proof of it (police reports) and he said he was going to discuss it with my X. Since he has, they haven't been talking, but that's no longer my business.
So back to the "adventure"... the house I call "the handyman house" (aka the money pit, lol). Just to get it ready for the appraisal, I had to redo the bathroom walls and floors (there were actually holes in the floor), back hall (hole in the wall), living room (cracks), living room ceiling (more cracks), and laundry room (another hole in the wall). I did work that I was expecting to do over the next 3 years, and did it in less than 3 months. WHEW. But, it was successful! The house was valued $60,000 MORE than in 2005! YAY! Though, I sometimes wonder if the vodka bottles the appraiser found in the attic helped the value at all - but nope, I'm gonna take all the credit for this one, lol (there were 20 bottles the X had hidden up there and one empty quart bottle hit the appraiser on the head when he opened the door)!
Then on Monday, I pulled the plug on the kitchen sink after doing dishes, and the sound that happened next wasn't supposed to be there.... the pipes had disconnected from the sink. What a mess. BUT, with all the home improvement projects I've been doing I immediately thought "COOL! I get to learn about the only thing I don't know about (plumbing)!" And then a friend walked in and said "Man, when it rains it pours... you must be so stressed", which I wasn't until she said that, lol. But, I'm still looking at it as a "learning challenge" and worst case scenario I can ask my plumber neighbor to help me with it, lol. But then again, my neighbor said last month "you're the only woman I know who hasn't asked me to help them fix something", which made me feel proud, so I'm going to give it a shot first, lol. So today, (I've been procrastinating and using a dish tub temporarily) I plan to FIX that sink!
Later!
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