Hadn't cried for awhile, but today I did

Well, it's been awhile since I cried on a Sunday morning as I used to after the ex left. today I did and my emotions sort of overwhelmed me. I wasn't prepared for it. Everything felt fine the day before. I dropped my son off at the ex's house and had a debate with myself whether to see the Captain America movie in the theater or rent some movies. I chose to rent movies (saw 2 of them).  I sort of felt in a funk that night and didn't feel like chatting online, writing anything, or hardly doing any of the household chores I said I would.  Then I went to bed and didn't sleep well. It's been warm and I ran the air conditioner last night and so I went from being too hot to being too cold (blanket on, blanket off, ya know) and then my neck hurt and I couldn't get comfortable.  I slept ok but not good enough.
then I woke up and felt in a miserable mood. I decided to take a walk and interact with myself verbally (literally talking to myself) and that helped for awhile and had a good cry.  Then I was on the way to do groceries when my mother called and i started crying on the phone. so I went over by her house and felt there was a better atmosphere to talk there than at my house. After talking for awhile, I felt better and we went and had KFC...
anyway, there are a few things that bother me and one of them is work. It's basically the management style there.  ya see, there's one guy there who makes life miserable for many of the office women and not so much me.  and when there's problems it's never his fault - always their fault.  I've known from other people there that if they try to talk to the boss (who is this guys' step brother or something) about him, he takes the other guys' side.  So I feel any problem I have with him or what he does cannot be resolved via discussion with the boss. Meanwhile when you make an honest mistake, this guy wiggs out about it and then gets the boss involved and he looses his mind and so forth.  Over what? they are both blowhards who lose their temper easy and never have to pay for it. Meanwhile if you try to do a decent job, they are incapable of creating an atmosphere that makes you able to succeed.  The boss simply lacks the experience and knowledge in certain key areas to give me what I need to be successful and if you try to talk to him and try to make him understand, he can't. and I don't know how many more years I want to tolerate this type of management but I hate to change jobs.
the other side of the equation is my home life. it's now overwhelmingly difficult, but it has its bad sides. One of them is the fact my son needs my constant attention with what he is doing (computer games and stuff) and it's often difficult to give him the attention he needs especially if it's something that I'm not into. I try my best, but it does get tedious.  Of course I'm having him tested for ADD and so any problems he has I bear the brunt of everything. I have nobody good to discuss it with everyday and I have to make all the decisions myself.
and then I have some live in friends who pay me rent. They seem to be going nowhere in their life and it's often tedious to observe their daily "nothingness". now I know it's dumb to get upset about it, but it seems the more you get your life in shape the harder it is to tolerate those who can't or won't.  
anyway, I feel better now but was thrown for a loop earlier.  



It is hard to just stop loving someone. It will get easier when you find someone you enjoy spending time with.