Had the Car Today
Today was a busy day.... Geo and I went out to eat for lunch and then went to the grocery store. His dad gave him the car for the night, so we had some way to get around. It was nice having the car... I didn't have to worry about taking groceries on the bus or anything, and we could go to eat and have a nice lunch. We went to our favorite Chinese buffet... we were going to go to Taco Bell, but the Chinese food place was right next to it so we decided to splurge. It was only about $5 more than Taco Bell would have been, and it filled us up so much we decided to skip dinner. I just had a light spinach salad instead of the regular chicken. I got in all my calories for the day, too. From what I can remember, I had enough to make my quota, but not over it. I may have gone over with some of the food that I ate but I don't remember eating, but I don't know. I'm not going to stress out too much over it since I've been low on calories so much and eating more is what is making me lose weight.
I slept like crap last night. I don't know why. I took my pills, and I took extra ones to help me sleep and I just couldn't sleep. I kept waking up in the middle of the night, and it took me forever to fall asleep even though I was tired. I guess you can't win them all. I was tired and talking on the phone, but my friend I was talking to was going through some drama, so I let her get some of it out and then I tried to fall asleep, but what I call my “sleep window” had passed. That's when I can sleep, and when I can't, even if I'm tired. I have this window of time where I can fall asleep, and I have to fall asleep in that window or else I won't be able to. I'm going to hopefully sleep tonight, it's Daylight Saving's Time, so we get an extra hour of sleep.
I'm trying to be optimistic about sleep tonight... I keep wanting to think that I'm going to have an extra hour of lying in bed. I guess that means my mood isn't good today, it's just okay. I don't really know how I feel today since I've been so tired. When I'm tired, I don't feel my emotions. That's bad, since they control me and it means I'm flying blind. I don't know if I'm going to snap at someone. Geo was trying his best to get me to smile today... When we were out to lunch, he kept on making funny faces at me trying to get me to laugh. It was cute. He also did the sweetest thing... he knows I love peppermint bark, and he bought me some at the store behind my back. He sneaked it into the room and when we were lying down recovering from bringing everything in, he gave it to me.
I'm lucky to have such a good man. He doesn't ask for much, and he goes out of his way to do nice things like that for me. He doesn't yell at me often, we don't fight much, and he has never come close to laying a hand on me. Plus, he's a giant teddy bear, all cuddly and comfy. He tries his best to take care of me with my crazy emotions and mood swings, and he's there for me. He has his issues, but I love him all the same. That's the way love works... you have a person with their flaws, and you have your flaws but you love them for the way they are. I talked to him about the soda thing and he didn't even get mad... he just accepted that I was worried about him and he agreed to drink more chocolate milk (he has this sugar craving, I've accepted that, but at least milk has more vitamins and minerals). Today at the store we got soda and milk so he could choose what he wants. We got less soda than normal so he would be encouraged to drink the milk.
Food today, like I said, was good.. I had good food at the buffet... lo mein, green beans, shrimp in lobster sauce, sesame chicken, a bit of a quesadilla, some fruit, and some sushi. It seems like I had a ton of food, but I didn't eat a lot of the food I got. I also had my normal chicken thigh for breakfast, but it wasn't enough for me to feel satisfied, which is why I wanted to go out for lunch when I found out we were going to have the car. Stress was okay today.... I didn't really feel stressed except when I was talking to my stepdad and he said he wants me to take the job here instead of going to see him. I know it's not the best career move, but it's the right thing for me to do, I know. I've made up my mind. The only thing he can do is cancel the check he wrote so I can't go out there, but I know he's not going to do that. He's going to let me make up my own mind and do what I think is best. Mood has been okay today, just tired since I didn't sleep well last night.
I slept like crap last night. I don't know why. I took my pills, and I took extra ones to help me sleep and I just couldn't sleep. I kept waking up in the middle of the night, and it took me forever to fall asleep even though I was tired. I guess you can't win them all. I was tired and talking on the phone, but my friend I was talking to was going through some drama, so I let her get some of it out and then I tried to fall asleep, but what I call my “sleep window” had passed. That's when I can sleep, and when I can't, even if I'm tired. I have this window of time where I can fall asleep, and I have to fall asleep in that window or else I won't be able to. I'm going to hopefully sleep tonight, it's Daylight Saving's Time, so we get an extra hour of sleep.
I'm trying to be optimistic about sleep tonight... I keep wanting to think that I'm going to have an extra hour of lying in bed. I guess that means my mood isn't good today, it's just okay. I don't really know how I feel today since I've been so tired. When I'm tired, I don't feel my emotions. That's bad, since they control me and it means I'm flying blind. I don't know if I'm going to snap at someone. Geo was trying his best to get me to smile today... When we were out to lunch, he kept on making funny faces at me trying to get me to laugh. It was cute. He also did the sweetest thing... he knows I love peppermint bark, and he bought me some at the store behind my back. He sneaked it into the room and when we were lying down recovering from bringing everything in, he gave it to me.
I'm lucky to have such a good man. He doesn't ask for much, and he goes out of his way to do nice things like that for me. He doesn't yell at me often, we don't fight much, and he has never come close to laying a hand on me. Plus, he's a giant teddy bear, all cuddly and comfy. He tries his best to take care of me with my crazy emotions and mood swings, and he's there for me. He has his issues, but I love him all the same. That's the way love works... you have a person with their flaws, and you have your flaws but you love them for the way they are. I talked to him about the soda thing and he didn't even get mad... he just accepted that I was worried about him and he agreed to drink more chocolate milk (he has this sugar craving, I've accepted that, but at least milk has more vitamins and minerals). Today at the store we got soda and milk so he could choose what he wants. We got less soda than normal so he would be encouraged to drink the milk.
Food today, like I said, was good.. I had good food at the buffet... lo mein, green beans, shrimp in lobster sauce, sesame chicken, a bit of a quesadilla, some fruit, and some sushi. It seems like I had a ton of food, but I didn't eat a lot of the food I got. I also had my normal chicken thigh for breakfast, but it wasn't enough for me to feel satisfied, which is why I wanted to go out for lunch when I found out we were going to have the car. Stress was okay today.... I didn't really feel stressed except when I was talking to my stepdad and he said he wants me to take the job here instead of going to see him. I know it's not the best career move, but it's the right thing for me to do, I know. I've made up my mind. The only thing he can do is cancel the check he wrote so I can't go out there, but I know he's not going to do that. He's going to let me make up my own mind and do what I think is best. Mood has been okay today, just tired since I didn't sleep well last night.
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