had enough
If God came and said to me right now "i can see you have had enough, would you like to die now" i would say yes, i wake up every morning and wish i hadnt bothered. I am so tired of fighting and failing, i am so exhausted anyway from everything i am doing, I am a constant failure.
I am sorry I havent been on here much over the past week, I just couldnt, i feel like such a failure and like I have nothing to say anymore.
I just dont know what to do.....
I am sorry I havent been on here much over the past week, I just couldnt, i feel like such a failure and like I have nothing to say anymore.
I just dont know what to do.....
Replies
NO NO NO NO NO! Sweetie you are NOT a failure! I wish there was something I could do or say to make you believe that. I know this is an incredbily difficult battle, BELIEVE ME I KNOW! And sometimes it feels hopeless. But you can\'t give up! Recovery is possible! You KNOW for a fact that you CAN be better than you are now because you have been there before!
Keep fighting, love. I believe in you.
xoxo Jillian
Jillian is absolutely, 100% right, you are NOT a failure, not by any means. I know it\'s hard to see past your illness, but there are still lots of things to be thankful for and lots of good qualities in your life.
You are a wonderful friend and so many people would be worse of had you not entered their lives. Likewise, you have a family who love you and a boyfriend who would do anything for you.
I\'m sorry things are so difficult at the moment sweetie, you really don\'t deserve this pain and struggle. Things will come together soon though, keep focusing on fighting your illness. Perhaps do what we talked about, and go back to your doctor and see if she can progress your referral a little quicker. Remember you can ALWAYS talk to me, regardless of whether I\'m in Kingston or not. I have a phone in America which is free to call England from, so if you would like to talk in person at all, just let me know.
I believe in you also Lauren. You deserve to be happy, you are incredibly lovely, worthy, kind, and caring and I wish there was something I could do to ease your pain xxxxxxxxxxxx
Oh my God I can only imagine how depressed you are right now and it makes me so sad. I felt like that just a few days ago and told my therapist that life is just a struggle and no fun at all so why bother, but you know I arrived in California yesterday to see my son, his wife and my grandbaby and my smile hasn\'t left my face and my heart since. I\'m not saying it takes ed away and the food struggle comes out even more but there are things in life that are way bigger than ed in a good way and I hope you find one of those things real soon to lift this darkness. You are such a wonderful girl, I hate seeing you like this and I hate ed that he makes us feel desperate at times. My thoughts are with you.