Had a rough weekend
I thought about my son quite a bit this weekend. I feel like I haven taken 10 steps backwards. I miss hearing my son's voice and receiving his phone calls, asking me if I was okay. I work evenings and my son always picked me up at the bus stop. At times I find myself looking for him and sometimes I think I see him or smell the cologne that he used to wear. It can really be tough. I think of him every single day. I miss him so much. Sometimes I cry while going home on the bus at night. Today is a new day and I feel a little better.
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You are riding the roller coaster of grief...ups and down. Our kids communicate with us in many ways...sometimes it is with smells,other times it is through animals or coins. Accept them as ways your boy is saying...I am right here with you mom. It isn\'t good enough...only having him here would be...but it IS something.
Keep on keeping on new friend...love and hugs...Karen, mom of Alex.
Thank you Biowoman.
My daughter had a melt-down this morning; she said she has the same dream about her brother; she sees him in her dream and asks him where is he and then she wakes up and realizes that he is no longer with us. I told her about this site and hope she will use it and I told my son to let her know in his own way, that he is okay. My daughter is the one that discovered her brother had taken his life; she went to the hospital with him and held his hand. I wasn\'t home when this happened and chose not to go to the hospital. He will forever live in our hearts.