Had a breakthrough over the weekend but didn\'t realize it till last night!

So here I am every day thinking I'm going to go nuts and hurt myself or someone else. Well Saturday night my INFURIATING, DRUNKEN, HORDING, POTHEAD, NON TAX PAYING neighbor decided at midnight that he was too drunk to climb the stairs and take a wiz in the backyard (nothing new here) but it startled my dog. I think Arthur knows I don't like him either but when someone is banging around at night (stupid neighbor or not) I let my shepherd bark his head off. I live alone and if he's going to intimidate someone from breaking into my house and give them second thoughts - then guess what "Arthur, you bark your pretty little head off my friend!".  Well this of course infuriates my neighbor - Arhtur is not a major barker and I do not believe in keeping him tied up outside for hours on end so any time he's barking he 90% of the time in my house so I don't care. Anyhow - the neighbor starts yelling profanity and telling Arthur to shut up.  Guess how I reacted? My fear of going nuts did not come true. I had a NORMAL reaction! But I didn't really think about that until yesterday when I relayed the story to somoene else and I thought - hey wait - I didn't go nuts! If ever there was a prime opportunity for me to go insane, that was it. I really do NOT like this neighbor. I wanted to yell back and tell him to go inside and write a check to pay his taxes and then he can yell all he wants. I wanted to tell him that he has the power to change his surroundings if he voted (I'm betting he's an idiot when it comes to politics and doesn't vote). Most of all, I wanted to wait a half an hour and go out and let out the air in all 5 (yes 5) of his cars (I think about 2 of them run) but I didn't. I turned the other cheek. Of course I was fuming for a while and telling Arthur that he is NOT all of the things this idiot and excuse for a man was calling him. But anyhow - I'm doing better now that I've realized that I can be faced with this and not go nuts. Obsessive thoughts are still there - kind of like images but I'm not really afraid of them anymore - they are more of an annoyance - like being reminded of a really dumb movie or song and you can't get it out of your head. Anyhow - this makes me feel better. As much as I can't stand this man he helped me this weekend - and I do believe everything happens for a reason. So I guess I can survive this pipsqueak of a man if it means he will help my anxiety.  I also started passionflower extract today (thanks to a DS friend) so I'll keep updates on that. Be well!