HOPE......

I think i just figured out why this puppy is so important to me, for some strange reason, when i hold her, i feel ok. i havent felt ok in a long time, but she just made me feel OK, like i will be ok. and i feel hopeful... something that has escaped my range of emotions.  she will be ready to come home on my birthday. and today, because of my determination to get this puppy, i stopped at the local bar, and got hired for part time on call work... which is what i was looking for, he said he will definately call me cause he has NO back up, but he cant give me a set schedule as of now but that things constantly change. then, i looked at this house that kept catching my eye.... not a great house, and not an easy house to see, but i kept looking that way as  i drove past for the last couple weeks.  it had a for rent sign up with no number. i knocked on the neighbors door and asked about the house. turns out HE is the owner. its a two bedroom. HUGE living room, washer/dryer... yard... garage.. whole nine yards... and he only wants 650 dollars for it to rent out. i explained my situation, and that i have no money right now, but that i am about to have a baby, that i am going to be a single mom, and that i want to go to school, and i just want some place safe and comfortable for the next few years while i go to school.  i explained that my credit sucked, and that i had just terminated a lease early due to domestic issues with the baby's father, and that it would be a couple weeks in the least before i could come up with money for the down payment and that times were difficult for me.  he said he would work with me on the deposit.  he said he didnt want to allow pets, then looked at me, and said no pets right? i told him that there was this dog i wanted.... and he didnt say no!!! he said, well.... we would have to talk about, i would definately need a deposit!!! HE DIDNT SAY NO!!!!  im so afraid this wont work, im so afraid about this falling through, ive been so afraid to hope for anything good. please let this work.... its as close to perfect of a little place as i could ask for besides having room for horses.... covered porch.... HUGE backyard... and a creek behind.... and i could find a way to have my puppy... im scared, i need the money. and he said he was going to post an ad in the paper, but would refrain from doing so if i wanted it, cause i seemed like the type of tenant he would like to rent to.... even after telling him my problems with money.... i need this to work, i need to get to work as soon as possible. oh please... something go right, just for a little bit. i need my own place... i need this for me and the baby. and the puppy. i just want to cry when i think of the puppy. so many emotions poor through me.... this means something... the other little pup of course he is cute and adorable, and i love him... and i helped deliver him too... but i dont feel this way about him. something about this little girl dog ither impacts, or signifies an impact in my life, and she makes me feel not alone anymore. i have to have her with me... somehow this has to work. I think i will call her Sky. ive gone through alot of names, and sky seems to fit. her mom's name is sunny, and my friends other dogs name is shade... so sky fits in there to. strange this should be so important with a baby on the way, but it is. something about this puppy will change my life.