Guilt Resistant....progress?
Last Sunday was my last dayof vacation. I seldom go to church anymore since i am always working on Sundays. We never actualy found a regular church since we moved here...just visited a couple. My sister in law has extended an open welcome to visit hers.So we did.
It was nice to share in the fellowship, renew my faith and remind me I want to be more than a fair weather Christian. Partway through the service they did announcements..(birthdays, anniversaries,...) Hubby loked at me and nudged for me to speak (Frankly, the fact I brought up divorce less than 2 weeks ago did not make me proud or eager to celebrate.) And then, he stands up and anounces 15 years with his lovely wife...(Where is she, he could not be speaking of me?),,, A few days later I have al these likes and shares on facebook (which I amseldom on right now.) I check and see that he has reposted a wedding picture of us again celebrating such a joyous day.
For a minute....or three it did make me think back, but in the five minutes following, i would again be grumbled at discounted and i could feel my temperature rising... (Something i am not too familiar with... but am having to deal with as oposed to stuffing or ignoring negative crap)
I am at a point where I am very cranky..at being "set-up" by hubby and his sis to get well wishes for a 15 yr aniversary (putting pressure to remain instead of rocking the boat.Or set up to look like the troublemaker who would be the "evil one" resposible for our big break up once D day does come.) Ok ...I am cranky, annoyed, irritated as hell (on occasion ready to give a "Gibbs" head slap to my balding, not so nice still hubby)...but eventually it goes away...and guess what?...The guilt does not work anymore...
For me, I think the fact that I dare even be angry (always ran the other way)...and not be guilted...is progress.
Replies
Good one for you and for thinking the manipulation through with no response and the guilting, again more manipulation. Has anyone been blunt enough to come out on as neutral point as is possible and ask him what in God’s name does he gain by this? How does if further the idea of this not just being 15 but next year being 16 and so on into ripe old marital bliss? Beyond the obvious what does his manipulation gain him save imaginary control over another.
I believe in his mind it would be a win win. If the guilt that (up until now) has almost always worked to "keep me in line" his life would continue as is...with me doing all for him and he very little for me.
This guy is a jerk. What a first class jerk. Marriage isn't a game of chess with an enemy
It is a joining of 2 friends who are help meets to each other.
I am working on it.