Guilt and feelings of Worthlessness are Ruining My life

I feel so out of control in my life.  It has been getting worse for years.  I feel at the mercy of my husband for everything what to cook for dinner, where to go, etc.. If he isnt happy and outwardly showing it I get anxious over it.  Sad thing is he isnt a happy person anyway!
He goes and does as he pleases for the most part.  He works from home while I go to an office where I dont feel like I do a very good job and Im preoccupied with what I need to do at home or with the kids.  I worry about screwing and losing my job all the time.. but I dont want to do anything...
I feel like a horrible mother, Im always tired and never happy or as positive as I need to be.. I just want to be left alone but I cant imagine my life wo my kids.. the irony.. they are the best thing Ive ever done. 
My health is driving me nuts, I want to lose weight but dont want to put in the effort - sad but true.  I have recently been diagnosed with a high gluten intolerance.. and have been eating gluten free for two months and that frustrates me. It's so expensive and so hard to just go and eat.. Im on antidepressants and have been for years.. but dont really feel any better. 
I feel like I am a constant disappointment to my husband - I dont like the things he does and he doesnt like what I do.. we are totally mismatched. I can imagine my life wo him but I want him in mine.. I feel every insecure with him..
I know I sound like a lazy slob, Im not! Im just overwhelmed and there is so much to do I just dont want to do anything !
I just want joy and peace and security.. is there such a thing? Im at my wit's end!!