guess the charge is more serious than i thought

T's underage drinking charge is a bigger thing than I thought.  Since he turned 18 he's an an open container charge (but not charged for underage drinking) and all he had to do is pay a fine.  The second was for possession of a small amount of marijuana but he was turned down by the courts for requesting a lawyer.  He ended up in the diversion program with no mark on his record.  This time the fines appear to be much higher and he has a court appointed lawyer.  We are still moving forward with the college thing until we learn more.  It stinks because his behavior has been much better and he was excited about this trade school college that has a great reputation.  But - time will tell and I'm not going to dwell on it - especially since I have reservations about him going away to school in the first place.  
Last night we went up the art gallery/shop/studio/school place where my husband volunteers and where I teach.  There was an art show and a band playing.  I really didn't want to go.  It meant small talk and more wine (third night in a row).  I know I wouldn't have turned a glass away so there we were - drinking wine.  While there we ended up running into a couple we've known for years and have avoided lately.  The guy is an emergency room doctor and when we were first faced with our situation with T we went to him for help.  He came to our house and ended up not being very helpful. T was 15 at the time and the only advice he could give was to suggest we have our son sleep in the garage.  Even then I knew it wasn't the right thing to do.  After that whenever we saw him he would always ask about our oldest and sometime later our other two.  I sensed that he was jaded having had to treat many addicts (many repeats over the years).  Over time, however,  I healed and wasn't so sensitive to his insensitive comments and last night we actually had a good time at their house.  Yes - we were invited over for - yes - more wine.  Fortunately, I was careful but still.  What was funny was he was the one who brought up and asked about the organizations I'm involved in. He never seemed interested and never supported them so it didn't even occur to me. So I thought it was nice that he asked.  



so glad that you have been having a good fun time, really!!.....what a worry about T.....that does seem unfair just as he was so excited about going, but as you have had reservations anyway, well, maybe the right thing WILL happen...((((hugs))))Cathrynn XX