Guess I'll go eat worms again.

Nobody likes me everybody hates me seems to be a reoccurring thing for me.   It would be so much easier if I actually understood what I did.
Our game ended last week in bitterness and sorrow.   The lady who hates us so came the first night and wouldn't even speak to us.  She actually stayed in her car for an hour, then when she did come out she put on a cloak and covered her face.  When we finished she would not allow her husband to say good bye, but grabbed him by the arm and forced him to the car.   My daughter in law burst into tears three times.   I suggested we not go the next day.   Know my son talked to the husband on facebook for a while and then decided not to go.   Saw snide comments posted about us the next day.  It was horrible.  These people were our friends for years or so we thought.  We have no idea why they will not play with us any more.
Then saw another post on facebook about me trying to get game rules changed.   We are trying to start up a new gaming group and the runner asked my opinion of the game.  We had a rules meeting and I refused to participate.  Didn't even read the rules.   She got online and asked me to please read one section and tell her what I thought.  I didn't want to, but did.   She changed them based on what I said and someone saw the change.  They said well I know why it was changed "she" didn't like it.   I explained my opinion and got told I always ask for the rules to be changed so they would take my opinion with a grain of salt.
I have belonged to many gaming groups and have never asked for anything to be changed.   This last one people kept asking my opinion.   So yes I said I wanted changes.   I pointed out to the man he has played in other groups with me and I never said a word, it was only in this group who asked.  He did shut up after that, but made me feel like I was bossy and controlling.
Then went to work yesterday and got yelled at.   So upsetting as again thought this person was my friend.   She decided to manage the office this year when we lost our manager suddenly.   I was against it as I know how hard the manager job is.  I have done it for 5 years.   Of course they wanted me to do it and I said no so she got stuck.   Tried to help her all tax season.  Went to 3 meetings she couldn't make, updated her charts everyone morning as she didn't come in until 4pm.  Put out other signs, ran around and got information from people, tracked numbers during rally days when she wasn't in...
Well yesterday I was handling a bunch of paperwork for her that was her job.  We used to write numbers at the top.   In January the company announced the numbers weren't needed any more.  She and another lady decided to still do them.   Well these papers get boxed up next week and stored somewhere so I wasn't writing the numbers on them.  I also checked with the lady who used to handle this job and she said the numbers weren't necessary.  But my friend got so angry.  I told her we didn't have to any more the company said so and since tax season was over I didn't see the point.  She yelled in my face that tax season wasn't over for two more days and she was still the manager and then " Well then you should have taken the manager job and then you could do things the way you want".    I told her I would do it but she continued to rant about how we might need them and how the company didn't say we couldn't and she wanted them on there.  I was shaking when I walked away.
I didn't know she was so bitter about me not taking the job.   She has snapped at me several times during tax season when I was not spouting the company line and saying anything negative, which we all used to complain together, but guess as the manager she felt should couldn't and didn't think I should either???? I don't know.
Just seems all I do is offend  people.  I never keep friends long.  And they usually just cut me dead.   Even the one last night who wanted help with her taxes hasn't talked to me in a year.   She said after I answred her question she missed me.  So I told her I wasn't working every day after next week and we could get together if she wanted.  She immediately replied she was getting ready for finals and then going on vacation.   Boy she sure misses me.
Funny part is all these people who hate me don't hesitate to ask me to do stuff for them when they need something done.  I always let them use me like that and they hate me for it.   I just don't understand.  Felt sick all day yesterday.   Didn't eat most of the day and dreading going to work today and having to see her again.  We were supposed to go on a day trip together in two weeks and I am debating cancelling.   She already invited a bunch of other people when this trip used to be just us and I didn't understand why we were suddenly a group, but many she wants to make sure she doesn't have to talk to me.
One more friend down the drain....Maybe I should just stay away from everyone.  I'm toxic.