Wednesday, August 06, 2008 – 10:15 A.M. The director of staffing (Lydia) for my home health care agency came to see me after finishing work yesterday. She prepared dinner for me (reheating something in the microwave oven), rather than bringing me her usual hamburger.   I gave her a printed list of things Rachelle does for me in the afternoons. Lydia said she would do Rachelle’s work four days a week. This morning, I learned that another one of my CNAs (Bea) would do that work five days a week starting next Monday, and Lydia will handle it on weekends.   Since Rachelle also helps get me up in the mornings, Lydia is going to try and get someone named Michelle to replace her until Rachelle can return, if, and when, that it possible. I still do not know what will happen when Bea leaves at the end of September.   When I went to bed last night, I was still grumbling somewhat to the CNAs putting me to bed, and one of them said. “It makes you feel like you’re being abandoned, doesn’t it?” (That was all I needed to hear to set me off.)  I told both of them that if they wanted to leave too, then go ahead and do it. The “evil woman” said they would do that if it were what I wanted. Another CNA quickly broke up this conversation. I apologized and said I wanted them to stay, but I was just unhappy with everything that was happening all of a sudden.   Building a good working relationship is hard for me. When someone starts working for me, I like that person to stay with me for several months or longer. I cannot stand having to change personnel every other month or so. I need to have a feeling of consistency in my life.   I am seeing my psychologist this afternoon. I home she is in pretty good mood since I need to talk with her about a number of things. She cannot change anything, but maybe she can help me to better understand why things are turning out this way.  Whenever I think my life is getting better, something always seems to happen to make it worse. I can hardly wait to see what happens next. NOT!   Quotes for Success: “To respond is positive, to react is negative. Zig Ziglar



I\'m sorry. I wish there was something more I could say or do, good quote. I hate when someone moves my furniture around, I can\'t imagine how stressful your situation is

I wonder that too, Jim. Please share if your psychologist has any insight as to why life SUCKS so much sometimes. It really does seem unfair what is happening with you.

I would love to give you advice like \'\'think of all the people you get to know\" but shit, it\'s just simply sucky to have no control like that. You need to get teaching so you can afford to pay someone you trust. So that you can have more control over your life. If you need someone to talk to about online teaching, I\'m your gal. I\'ve worked with online courses for years. There is a serious lack of good online teachers out there and it\'s not hard to do. It\'s pretty much what you are doing on here - reading and commenting. You already have the degree to get your foot in the door. I\'ll bet you have a portfolio with your writings, too.

Hmmm... and here\'s me, the former trainer, thinking once you get someone good that you like, you should INSIST they bring in new trainees to work with YOU and them.

A company is only as good as it is when things go WRONG. If they\'ve done their homework and prepared, things should happen more smoothly and with less trauma.

And - this comes from someone who worked for a company that won the Macolm Baldridge Award - twice.

I was a good trainer... The floaters were always sent to me to get trained on accounts.

And you might have CNAs that are good trainers too. I know you have trouble with new people, and trust, and asking for help, and anyone new would have to pick up on some of that and maybe feel defensive. So in way, you have set yourself up for feeling the way you do. But all the things happening ARE NOT your fault. Just about every job is transient any more...

You are really in a perfect position to have a slew of people be familiar with you... So what are you going to do about it???

Hugs and Mojo and when are you going to move HERE???

Change is a really big trigger for me. Even good changes unsettles me.
I completely understand your reactions and feelings.
Things will eventually settle down.
But, it is very, very hard going through the change will your feelings at fever pitch.
For me, I feel uncomfortable because other\'s see me as so anxious.
They usually just stare, which triggers me even more.
Calmer days are coming...they are.