Wednesday, August 06, 2008 – 10:15 A.M. The director of staffing (Lydia) for my home health care agency came to see me after finishing work yesterday. She prepared dinner for me (reheating something in the microwave oven), rather than bringing me her usual hamburger.   I gave her a printed list of things Rachelle does for me in the afternoons. Lydia said she would do Rachelle’s work four days a week. This morning, I learned that another one of my CNAs (Bea) would do that work five days a week starting next Monday, and Lydia will handle it on weekends.   Since Rachelle also helps get me up in the mornings, Lydia is going to try and get someone named Michelle to replace her until Rachelle can return, if, and when, that it possible. I still do not know what will happen when Bea leaves at the end of September.   When I went to bed last night, I was still grumbling somewhat to the CNAs putting me to bed, and one of them said. “It makes you feel like you’re being abandoned, doesn’t it?” (That was all I needed to hear to set me off.)  I told both of them that if they wanted to leave too, then go ahead and do it. The “evil woman” said they would do that if it were what I wanted. Another CNA quickly broke up this conversation. I apologized and said I wanted them to stay, but I was just unhappy with everything that was happening all of a sudden.   Building a good working relationship is hard for me. When someone starts working for me, I like that person to stay with me for several months or longer. I cannot stand having to change personnel every other month or so. I need to have a feeling of consistency in my life.   I am seeing my psychologist this afternoon. I home she is in pretty good mood since I need to talk with her about a number of things. She cannot change anything, but maybe she can help me to better understand why things are turning out this way.  Whenever I think my life is getting better, something always seems to happen to make it worse. I can hardly wait to see what happens next. NOT!   Quotes for Success: “To respond is positive, to react is negative. Zig Ziglar