Grumpy
Having a day. I'm not sure why. Just feeling grumpy and hoping it's not a sign of AF.
This weekend, I was really tired and napped a lot and didn't even leave the house. Saturday night, lying in bed, I got this incredible urge to cry because I am in my head about how we may not have any embies to freeze and what if it didn't work, and we don't have $ for another fresh cycle, if it doesn't, and so on, and so forth.
My first BETA is Friday and it can't come soon enough. I still have not heard back from the lab even though they said they were going to watch our remaining 2 embies to see if they would be good frost babies. I called today twice and had to leave a message.
I don't know how strong I can be if this doesn't work. I haven't had any pregnancy symptoms other than being tired. I am feeling very unsettled, I guess is the best way to describe it...
My DH says not to worry about the next step until we need to but I can't get out of my head. I just have a gut feeling that it didn't work and want to slap myself for even typing that but it's how I feel. Maybe it's the pregnancy hormones, reeving up, and making me crazy. I sincerely HOPE so! Sorry for the rant, I thought maybe writing a journal might help get it out and make me less crazy...
This weekend, I was really tired and napped a lot and didn't even leave the house. Saturday night, lying in bed, I got this incredible urge to cry because I am in my head about how we may not have any embies to freeze and what if it didn't work, and we don't have $ for another fresh cycle, if it doesn't, and so on, and so forth.
My first BETA is Friday and it can't come soon enough. I still have not heard back from the lab even though they said they were going to watch our remaining 2 embies to see if they would be good frost babies. I called today twice and had to leave a message.
I don't know how strong I can be if this doesn't work. I haven't had any pregnancy symptoms other than being tired. I am feeling very unsettled, I guess is the best way to describe it...
My DH says not to worry about the next step until we need to but I can't get out of my head. I just have a gut feeling that it didn't work and want to slap myself for even typing that but it's how I feel. Maybe it's the pregnancy hormones, reeving up, and making me crazy. I sincerely HOPE so! Sorry for the rant, I thought maybe writing a journal might help get it out and make me less crazy...
Replies
Don\'t stress about not having pregnancy symptoms yet. Most of those do not show up until 6 weeks and even then they are not all the time.
And I know its easier said than done, but I agree with Hubby... don\'t stress about the next steps until you need to.
Sending you good vibes and hoping those little embies are snuggling in for the next 9 months!
Oh try not to stress out and try to think of the positives rather than the negatives. Like LMWT said a lot of pregnancy symptoms don\'t start showing until you\'re at least 6 weeks. I know that it\'s super easy to think about all the things that can go wrong but try to think of all the things that can go right. It happens to other women, so why not you? Try to keep your head up and think happy thoughts for those lil bundles of joy that are getting cozy in there. :-)
Sorry you\'re having a rough day. Only 4 days until your beta- you\'re so close!!! Thinking of you hun.
It\'s so easy so get caught up in your head with all of the what if\'s and planning how to react to any given situation and trying to anticipate every outcome so as to be ready for it. I have to remind myself to just step back, be in the moment, and breathe. For this moment, today, you very well could be pregnant. I\'m a worst case scenario, glass half empty kind of person. My husband is the opposite. I always go to \'if this doesn\'t work, then...\' and he helps remind me that there is absolutely no reason to anticipate that things will turn out badly.
I also think that we always get caught up in the whole pregnancy symptoms thing. We want so badly to feel something different that will clue us in. Like the other ladies have said - in reality, most women don\'t actually feel any symptoms before a test could possibly be positive. That being said, both times I\'ve been pregnant (the one I lost and the one that is currently determined to hold on tight despite all of my worst case scenario panic moments) I started getting bone tired a few days after I figure they would have implanted. That was the only thing that was different from a normal cycle.
I hope that your tiredness is a good sign. There is absolutely no reason to think it isn\'t. But I know all too well that \'don\'t get your hopes up cause it will hurt more\' feeling. I had gotten very good at keeping my expectations low. But, just for this cycle, maybe try to think...why not? Just....why not?
Thanks for all your kind words ladies.
The lab called back. The had to discard the remaining embryos due to them not developing. I am pretty bummed but trying to remain positive and hoping I am pregnant.
I\'m sorry you\'re having a day. I had quite a few of those during my TWW. I think dallyjoe hit the nail on the head -- we so badly want SOMETHING to give us peace of mind that our fertility luck is turning around that we analyze every twinge. I know I did. My symptoms didn\'t start full force until last week, and even then, it\'s only been nausea. Every woman and ever pregnancy is different. Try to take just one day at a time; that\'s so hard to do, and hear, but it helps.
And I\'m sorry about your other embies :( I\'m saying prayers for them ... And you.
The two week wait is literally torture, honestly the best thing to do is just try not to think about it (which is almost impossible I know) and just stay as busy as possible. Watch movies, watch tons of tv and just through the days until your beta. I am so hoping this is it for you and wishing you all the best!! Try and stay positive, I know it is so difficult!! Everything you are feeling is natural, I have been there too. Keep us posted!!
Just saw your other update - I\'m sorry about the other embryo\'s, but like you said try and stay positive! Thinking of you.
I hope those are all pregnancy hormones too! It seems pretty normal to be feeling everything you are feeling. Your beta is so close, and all that hope turns to worry. Normal. I hope the lab calls with good news of frosties that you won\'t even need! I\'m hoping this week goes by quickly, and you get fantastic news on Friday!!
I didn\'t see your comment. I\'m sorry to hear of your embies. I hope you are doing alright and can have a better day tomorrow!
I am so sorry about your embies. Praying you have two sticky ones already.
Sorry to hear that you are having a rough time...esp about your embies..Hang in there!! I have my fingers and toes crossed that you will get your BFP.